Be Ready.

2 Timothy 4:2

" Preach the Word: be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

And the seasons change once again. I have not written a blog since the very beginning of my Senior Year...and I am approcahing the end of my first semester. What has the Lord shown me in the past few months? First, that He is so good: every aspect of his being is righteous. Second, that He wants us all to proclaim His greatness to the ends of the Earth. What does that look like for us? Let us begin to determine His mission field for us.

A quick update on what the Lord is doing in a local mission field. If any of you have seen G4C on my License Plate frame, you may have been wondering what this was. Over the summer the Lord put in on my heart to stop searching frantically for a place to serve. God wanted me to be at peace, have a heart ready to proclaim His name and lead people to the Lord from what I have seen of Him. I knew I had to start an outreach to girls my age struggling with the common pressures and temptations of this world: family dilemmas, friend conflicts, college and future worries, and overall anxieties. What can put a soul to rest? The Word. Each Wednesday morning it has been such a blessing to not only walk through the Word with these girls, but to also have constant fellowship inside and outside of our current meeting spot at Peet's Coffee. The Lord moves in that place too; we recieve looks of confusion from fellow students not clear on what we are reading, or why we would ever spend a collaboration morning in a book of all things. But regardless of the world, the group has been growing! What matters though, is that we are equipping ourselves through our fellowship, and through Him, to be His disciples. Let the Lord be praised!

How do we become disciples of integrity and holiness in a mission field that often is a battlefield? I have had the opportunity to spend time in the book of John, and it outlines what a life like this must be. In John 15, it shows the Lord as our vine, and we are His branches.

"Every Branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

Once we know Him; the Way, Truth and Life, we will begin to have the motivation and qualifications needed to prune fruit for the Lord. We cannot begin to grow our own form of ministry or evangelism without the vine as our support and source of nutrients. Our Father, the source of all of our joy and evangelistic motivation is glorified through us bearing fruit and proving to be His disciples. It is overwhelming to see people around me being equipped to lead and serve the Lord through the sheer knowledge of His holy nature. Let us attach ourselves even closer to the vine, and grasp ahold of the protection and wisdom it gives. You cannot help but desire to grow His kingdom after learning about our Lord and Savior. That is what this year has taught me.

This weather is keeping em indoors it seems. I don't have the desire to be outside as often interacting with people, and enjoying their company. But it is exactly that the Lord wants us to do! Get outside of our comfort zones of stillness and isolation, and begin to be immersed with His people. When we serve Him with our all, we become closer to the vine, and have the desire planted in our hearts through that vine to bear fruit. In and out of Season be ready for Him. Be ready for His people. Be ready to bear fruit.

The Power of Presence.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.  It is countdown time. My AP Literature required reading is sitting in the dusty corner of my room, and my new class schedule is sitting on my bare desk. My senior year starts next week, and I am a little nervous. I know the Lord has so much for me to accomplish for His kingdom, yet there is still so much I desire and need to learn. Each year, I pray about one thing in particular to shape my approaching school year. Last year, the all consuming prayer request was for the blessing of great friends to learn about the Lord from, and to share with. I was immensely provided. This year, I desire for the Lord to challenge me in a way that will stretch my innermost character. Let my darkest sides be exposed and transformed. 

The Lord has blessed me with an amazing mode of transportation. My Grandmother gave me her SUV for my 16th birthday, and I was thrilled! When the Lord throws us unexpected blessings, we seem to appreciate, yet abuse them though don't we? I immediately found myself driving around town fulfilling useless tasks, just so that I could be out of the house and expressing my independence. But, as good as being a seventeen year old zipping around town may seem, I was missing out on a crucial part of my maturation and adolescence. At home, my family was having family meals, my father wanted to help me on my speech for an upcoming tournament, my grandparents wanted me to help them with their computer, or my siblings just wanted to hang out and talk. I was missing out on cherish moments with my family members that I would never get back. The Lord desires us to spend time with His people. We must make a daily effort to be in each others presence, especially in times of emotional need. 

We can look to Job, a prophet who seemed to have it all: wealth, a family, and feasts galore. Suddenly, disaster and tragedy completely wiped out Job's family and possessions. When this occurred, we see one of the Lord's many lessons become very clear. As long as Job's friends kept their mouths shut, they were comforting to their grieving friend. Once they began conjecturing about what could have caused Job's tragedy, or why he was feeling a certain way, they got into trouble. 

 “Be happy with those who are happy, weep with those who weep”  Romans 12:15

It seems that the Lord is sending us a very clear message about how he wants us to act around friends going through tough instances in their lives. Sometimes all that people need is your presence, your sense of hope, and your presentation of the Gospel. If all we do is bring His good news, that is more than enough. The Lord wants YOU to be the one standing by a person in need. When we abide in the Lord and put His truth in our hearts, we must share that with anyone with a non-settled heart. This sounds pretty basic: it is fundamental to our Christian walk. But the thing that is radical about the whole process, is that our presence is just a small display of our Heavenly Father's unconditional presence. 

 

“Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19 

The essence of empathy is the gift of presence. Let us begin to seek out anyone with a troubled heart. Let them know that we are present. Let them know that HE is eternally present. 

Two Families.

I placed both feet on the escalator, and began to descend. Goodness, I was beyond tired. The time change plus a seven hour total plane trip resulted in a girl in a drowsy and exhausted state. I peered up and saw four familiar faces looking back up at me. They were smiling. They were excited.
This is my family, and they had traveled to pick me up from the airport. Two weeks seemed like a long time away from them, and I was ready to finally sleep in my own bed. Families are a blessing, aren't they? The amazing part our families is that they truly are given to us. Unlike friends, we do not need to go out of our comfort zone to meet them, or maintain a strict relationship with boundaries. Families have been with us from the time of birth and we grow and mature in the midst and love of them. They are a gift to us that we don't deserve, but we do need.
What is the Lord's intention for a family? I was so blessed to lead an adult Bible Study class while in Ruston Louisiana, and I know the Holy Spirit revealed its answer to me. My grandma handed me a pamphlet of devotionals and commentaries on Exodus 7, and the Bible. The verses in Exodus 7 refer to the rise of Moses and his strength to speak to the Pharaoh, and to ask for Israel's freedom from Egypt. As I read the Word, I continued to remember that Moses, the prophet and wise man, had a serious obstacle when serving the Lord. His voice, a powerful gift the Lord had blessed Moses seemed to be hindered, and could not be used to its fullest extent. The question arises, "Why would the Lord put the burden of a speech impediment on Moses, His chosen one?" He does not make any mistakes, does He? We realize that this was the Lord's plan all along, when we read on in the Word. Moses' brother, Aaron was also blessed with a gift. His gift was a voice. His powerful words were spoken to the Pharaoh in the presence of his brother. Moses heard and responded to the Lord, and Aaron spoke. These brothers were willing and capable of serving the Lord in different ways. God blessed each one differently, amazingly. The power of our Heavenly Father was heard through the gifts the Lord placed in earthly men.
Yes, Moses was well...a crucial and imperative point of glory for the Lord and all of His kingdom. I am beginning to think though that not only are we called to be men and women whose all-out desire is to serve Him, but we are also supposed to regard our families as members of an immediate body of which we can serve Him with. God has intricately placed each and every member of your family alongside you for a reason. Appreciation and gratitude should flow from our hearts when we comprehend this.
Why then, do families break apart and stray away from their original, perfect structure? How can sin begin to enter the picture and disrupt God's divine harmony and original intention? The only thing to keep a family in line with God's original intention, is to begin to mold themselves into the family that God originally creates. Simple, right? Sadly, sin always seems inevitable when we are so surrounded by the flesh every day. The only way to begin to move from the flesh, is to become closer to Christ, and His living word.
Divorce hit home for me when I was in the fifth grade. As an only child, I could not comprehend what it was or why it was happening to my family. Over six years later I can begin to see the multitude of blessings that have overflown out of something outside God's line. My five siblings are some of the most diverse and incredible people I could have been blessed with. The Lord knew that I needed family members to walk along the rough patches and times of hope. My siblings and step-parents are some of the most diverse and influential people in my life, and I love them so much. The Lord has blessed my families so much. It seems that what I lack, they posess, and vice versa. Our families are just small groupings of the Lord's family and and Kingsdom. Let us be just as joyful and grateful to be a part of our immediate, earthly family members, as we are to be a part of God's eternal kingdom.

Exodus 7:10

So Moses and Aaron went in to Pharaoh, and they did so, just as the LORD commanded. And Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh and before his servants, and it became a serpent.

Let us be a part of our families just as the Lord has commanded. Let us live lives of gratitude and grace.

The Capable Wife

This blog is mainly written for teenage girls. It is written for an online magazine/blog for the church I attend, but I wanted to share it! 

It is my second week in the South, and I now know why I am here. I have the opportunity to see my relatives every summer, and this year, has been one trip I will not forget.

Every day my grandma and I visit another family. I drive her Mercury Mountaineer all over downtown Ruston to another home where we will drink Sweet Tea, munch on homemade brownies, garden in the backyard, or shell peas. Life is different here. Not only does it seem as though it is in slow motion, but every time I visit, it teaches me something about humans. As I look into the eyes my grandma's elderly neighbors, they have something they want to say, and what they do express is so insightful. I experienced insight from someone this past Sunday; but it was not an elderly lady, or the pastor, but a fourteen year old girl in the youth group I attended. The youth pastor asked a question of the youth group, "What would you want to see written on your tombstone?" One teen raised his hand and responded, "Forgive me, and I will try to forgive you." After much laughing in the group a quiet girl said, "Well if I am blessed to have a long life and I get to serve the Lord and be married, I would want Proverbs 31:10-31 engraved on my tombstone." Everyone in the room stopped and racked their brain to see if that was a verse known by heart or one taught in Sunday school recently. Nothing came up. I immediately flipped my Bible open and turned to the last bit of the book of Proverbs. When I saw the words, "More precious than rubies", I knew which passage I was looking at. 

The Lord was fully aware that this part of His word was something I needed to hear...immediately. You see, this part of Proverbs discusses the image of a wife: one serving and living for Christ, her husband and her family. Proverbs has a lot to say about women. It is so fitting that the book ends speaking of a woman with great character, many diverse skills, and unconditional compassion. This woman is not a solely domestic, quiet, and servile woman. She is the picture-perfect wife, mother, and daughter of the Lord. Her resume includes being a realtor, seamstress, and merchant, and that is only the beginning of it. This woman of God does not tire easily, and is rejuvenated when she looks to the Lord. She is not lazy either, her energy is from Him. What is so amazing about this passage is that her character and dignity do not originate from within her, from her husband, or from her family. Her strength comes from her reverence for the Lord. 

To be wise you must first have reverence for the Lord. If you

 know the Holy One you have understanding. Proverbs 9:10

This woman has outstanding abilities. As women, we must look to her as an inspiration for all we can be. We can learn from her integrity and grow from her strength. 

Isn't she the perfect model for all women to admire, and aspire to be? She is a superwoman in God's eyes and heart. 

As women, praying to be the "capable wife" mentioned in the Proverbs encompasses every aspect of our lives. Our relationship with our future or current husband will be strengthened, our family will be concrete in Him, and our existence will be one devoted to prayer, serving and all-out worship for Him. What could be any better? Our lives, and our families will be a part of the Lord's Kingdom on Earth. 

The word "capable" is so interesting too. As flawed, sinful humans, how will we begin to be capable enough for our future husband?  We must start the groundwork now. Let us live lives of fellowship for Him now, so that our husband can praise our capable nature once in a marriage. And, in eternity, let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that all women know they have a home in You. Let us feel strengthened and humbled by your power. Transform each of us into a woman whose hope is to be a Godly wife: one who never tires because we know we are rejuvenated by You, and one that will serve her husband and family the way You have instructed. Let us begin to grow into a capable wife today, and bless our marriages under You forever. 

IM. I Am. He Is.

Facebook. Myspace. Twitter. MSN. It is instant messaging time. What has occurred in the lives of the friends that I have gone two hours without instant messaging?! Isn't it funny, and quite sad how a generation is connected, almost too connected?

I have the opportunity of giving an oratory speech for Speech and Debate tournaments.  A piece of my speech speaks of the concept of the IM, and the instant messaging craze of our technological era. Instead of focusing on the impact of instant messaging though, I have realized the our Inner Messaging is what truly shapes who we are.  What we tell ourselves daily, hourly, and even second by second centers our perspective and influences our potential.

I give this speech pretty frequently too; in fact I am in the midst of a competition this week. As I say this line time and time again, it is beginning to lose its validity, yet inspire a new meaning within me.

 It is true that what we tell ourselves is a large contributer to what we believe and why we believe it.  We must ask ourselves what the source of our inner messages are. Are the messages holy? Are they breathed of the Spirit?

Many times what we think we are telling ourselves is actually what He is telling us. But before we begin to assume that something is of Him we must test these messages against His word to validate them. 

I think it is incredible how the Lord speaks to us in the most ingenious of ways. He is a whole different dimension of creative, isn't He? How the Lord delivers His word and guidance to us is unbelievably complex. Although many may say that all of the Lord's commandments and "tips for success" are already stated in His Word, the ways he reveals his promises to us makes me astonished. They are in a timely manner; on his perfect time schedule. He knows what we are prepared to hear about him. In the same way, he knows when to deliver insight to us, challenging our miniscule thought processes beyond the mundane world's perspective. His messages are holy. And, we cannot trust our own messages for anything. We must listen to His voice and disregard the voices of sinners. Seek the truth with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Seek messages and encouragement from Him, and beware of the flawed advice of the flesh.

We are not what our IM tells us we should be. We need to be people that looks for His messages. The purest of all voices, our guiding light. 

Tomorrow is the last time I will ever perform my "Dash" speech to an audience of judges, and competitors. I cannot continue to let people believe that our inner messages will lead us to a world of success. By listening to ourselves, we make a 360 degree turn: we get nowhere. Let us look to him....and honestly listen. Let us keep our ears open, our thoughts pure, and let us call on Him with eager hearts. If we call, He will answer. 

He is the source of the messages, and the messenger. With six conversations occurring between friends on our "instant messaging" sites per night,it seems so easy to become distracted and illusioned. Words of truth, comfort and validity will only come from ONE conversation. Let us add the Lord to our friends list. 

More than just Noticing.

I saw him again. His long blonde hair gently swept away from his face when the wind hit him. He clutched his Bob Marley longboard in one hand and a blue Powerade in the other. He looked across our highschool's quad and peered in the direction of the library. He kicked down the longboard, jumped on, and began racing fast down the paved walkways of our school.
I have always known skaters, but this one was different. He had an intensity that was overwhelming. His blue eyes and blonde hair made him have an angelic appearance with a rough demeanor. As he arrived at the front gate, he picked up his longboard and began to talk with his friends. I noticed him. I do not know why, but he continually catches my eye's attention.
Why do we notice certain people in our day to day life? Why do specific people that may be your ordinary aquaintances suddenly call for your respect or thoughts? As we will all see in our Christian walk, God places certain people in our lives for a reason that may be unknown to us. Something about this boy is calling for me to notice him. Possibly the Lord wants us to seek out these people to lead them to Christ. Maybe, He just wants us to be their friend.
My trip to Mexicali when I was a freshman sparked something interesting in me. I had always been nervous that going to Mexico was somewhat cliche as many churches go to the country to build homes and teach in a Vacation Bible School setting. But after spending one day with Christ's children, I knew it was the opposite of cliche. The unique nature of these children impacted my life for Christ. Their infectious faith was passionate and strong. One girl imparticular caught my attention this time. Her name was Gloria, perfectly fitting her. She never smiled...just watched. Her intriguing nature led me to believe that Christ was truly speaking to me through her. When I was having a rough week, stumbling over my attempt at Spanish, she would just smile and say "Esta bien," "It is okay."
So what should we do when we meet people like this? They may be children, may be the elderly, may be people we are around every day and suddenly realize why they are in our lives. We need to do more than just notice them. We must pursue them with the Lord's love, and show them how much they are loved. We must speak words of truth and integrity as well. Christ does not solely notice people after his own heart. He guides, leads and follows them. We must be His messengers here on Earth.
Usually "standing in the way" of someone has a bad connotation. But, as Christians we must be willign and capable of being the mediator between the person after Christ's heart and the Lord. Once they find our Savior, it is their turn, and God takes care of him. We must not be a hindrance to them finding the Almighty God, but we must be ready to lead them with never-failing energy.
Evangelism is a touchy subject, and doing a final project on this topic has opened my eyes dramatically. If we are going to lead people to Christ we must be a person that is contagious for Christ's being. But, more than that, we must use words. We must actually speak words of truth and lead people to God's divine words. Although our WWJD bracelets are catchy, and although a Cross is beautiful to wear, words are what will bring people to God. Our actions and our talk must be congruent in all aspects. We must walk our talk and be sure not to "overtalk our walk".  With a pure and faithful heart for the Lord, we become contagious. Through Him, we become the messenger.
I must actually speak when I see that boy again. Christ desires us to use our gifts to please him, and we must. He has given us the ability to speak and we need to utilize it. We cannot be quiet and we cannot possibly be silenced.
Let us begin to do more than just notice people close to us. Let us pursue them and deliver a glimmer of God's glory to their day, or life.

Look Up.

Today was a tough day. For me, days are classified under "tough" when I feel like I am in a blur of confusion or haphazardness. The world seems to do that to people. We get lost in the flesh: a whirlwind of materialism and minor issues. Unfortunately, I succumbed to having one of these days. 

God put something on my heart tonight though, and I feel as though it needs to be shared. It is something that has been encouraging me this past year, and will continue to, when I face days that seem to have an "absence" of Christ. 

As my AP Statistics class ended, I decided to head home after a tiring and somewhat stressful day. I pulled into my driveway, turned off the car and had to take a few deep breaths. I began to think of the summer; what I had planned, and what I wanted to get caught up on in the few academic-free months I had ahead of me. I immediately though of my week-long trip to Birmingham, Alabama, and later my short drive to Ruston, Louisiana to be with my family for the humid, summer week. Ruston is an incredible place: humble, loving people, beautiful trees, and caring Southern accents in every small grocery store. I  began to envision myself there to escape the suburbs of Granite Bay for a second. I miss the small Grace Methodist Church I attend with my Grandma every Sunday at 7am to catch the Sunday school, and Worship service. I heard a hymn last time I had the opportunity of visiting. A hymn written in the early 1700's titles "God Will Lift Up Your Head", flooded the Sanctuary and I was in awe. All of the women singing the song without restraint and seeing my Grandma in the choir singing with her whole, vulnerable heart to Christ. 

Days when we feel so caught up in the world call for one thing. We must mentally and physically look up to  be engulfed by the Lord's protection. God is SO strong. The act of Him gently raising up our chins to peer into His kingdom is extraordinary. We may see clouds, we may see sun, but we will always see Him. 

We can at all times come to him and simply look up. One of the most incredible parts of the Lord his the ease at which we can access Him. And, when we least expect it (and need it most) Christ will life up our heads for us, and put something on our hearts to feel at peace. 

The composer of this hymn was so right on in so many ways. Think about this: when we look up to the sky it is almost impossible to cry. As we look straight ahead, at the world, tears may flow fast and thick down our cheeks. As we look up, crying is interrupted. The Sky is an expanse that brings hope. As we "reach for the moon" or "search for the stars" we are in essence looking at Him. His greatness, His strength, and His ingenious spirit is in it all. When he lifts up our heads from the mundane world of the flesh, to the hope-filled expanse of his Kingdom we as humans can get a taste of eternity. Christ's gentle nudge to look upwards to Him is breathtaking. Many times we may not have the strength to look up, and that is when He takes over.

Christ clears the way in this sinful world and through His strong hand we can be lifted up. As He rose, and He become the helping hand in raising us up as well. Christ becomes so joyful as we look up to him. In joy, He does this, not as an obligation. As he lifts our eyes and our hearts, He is joyful, and in turn we are too. The God who knows every pore on our face, and counts our tears, will lift up our heads to catch a glimpse of his glory.

Take the chance to look up every once and a while. Step outside and let your eyes be transfixed on His greatness.  

So Alive.

I have always been a thinker. I used to criticize myself for it-saying there was no point to aimless thinking. You see, I felt that the more I thought about random occurences, the more often I would find myself off track with what God wanted me to be and the direction he had for me. I used to imagine the path God was taking me on as two long train tracks that made slight turns, if any, and continued on a straight path, forever. I am beginning to see this metaphor much differently.

God has a plan for us: we all know that. But where does the training aspect come in when we look at our lives, and the places God wants to take us?


So, I developed a new metaphor: one that worked for me and helped me understand God a little bit more.


If we imagine a swimming pool, the second we get in we may have to catch our breaths because it is so cold. God's all encompassing presence caught me somewhat off-guard when I first began to feel it. It may seem like a plunge we are not willing to take at the moment, but once we are settled in and feel his love, we stay there.


The moment we get out of the pool we feel hot flagstone on our feet. We have left what has felt comforting to us, and now stand on unknown territory, whether it be scary or not comfortable. The heat from the world, the flesh, cannot comfort any aspect of us and we so badly desire to jump back into God's loving arms.


Why, as humans, do we ever leave the pool? Even if we become pruny-fingered and have tired muscles, why don't we stay in the place most comfortable to us? God's love, in constrast to a pool does not make our fingers wrinkle up or let us become wiped out. His love energizes and strengthens.

God has a journey that he wants to take each and every one of us on. A journey to grow his Kindgom, and enrich our faith in him.
Christ will TAKE us, BREAK us, and REMAKE us. This process is cyclical and will continue until we leave this earth to be with Him. I find it so awe-inspiring to see how Christ completely changes our make-up as a person and as an advocate for Him during this transformation. Our hearts, sourls and minds become more open to his grace, aware of his blessings, and empowered to speak His words to others.
Christ knew that humas would need a severe wake-up call to shake them from the casual way "Sunday morning Church attenders" to people devoted to Christ's Word and sharing the Gospel. An up close and personal look into how Christ leads his children is seen so clearly and beautifully as we experience this transformation in our lives.
The awesome thing, is that the Lord is so faithful to his creation.

As Psalms 145:13 reads: The LORD is faithful in all he says; he is gracious in all he does.

Christ is so alive, isn't he? From the way he transforms our lives, to the way he directs our paths so flawlessly continues to amaze me. God is not a one-dimensional figure in our lives. The word faith implies continuous thought and care for all he has made. He stumble with our faith towards Him, yet the Lord's faith in what he has completed, and what he has yet to have shown us is perfect and remarkable. It makes it much easier to have faith in a God that has faith in his good works.

God intervenes in our lives in unthinkable, creative, yet perfect ways. The Holy Spirit is so alive in our lives and never, ever lets go.

Let us try to stay in the water a little longer. Let ourselves get slightly pruny. Although we may not know specifics on God's call for our lives we do know it will be a life for Him- a good and blessed life.

Miles from Somewhere.

Cat Stevens, you are a musical genius. Words that inspire and words that uplift come out of your mouth in every song. You encourage the young to pursue their dreams and adults to nurture their children. You are passionate about change and expect each generation to progress and be successful.

A question then arises as I listen to your music. What exactly is your passion? What is the fuel to drive you to compose songs inspiring a revival of America's culture? Why do you do it Cat?

The fifth track on the C.D. began to play. And it all came down on me at once. The song is titled "Miles from Nowhere." Cat Stevens speaks of the long journeys he takes in his life, and how unlike many people he knows, Cat does not end up in the same place. He never returns home, or to a similar location as he started. His ventures away from the norm allow him to see life in a different light, and he never comes back.

He is truly Miles from Nowhere though, isn't he? As he is "lost" in this "wild world" something becomes clear. Everyone needs to have a "somewhere" they belong. In this wild world, the only true home we have is in Him. Under Him we are empowered, strengthened and humbled. Even as we travel to the farthest distance from Christ, he still finds us. We seem to play hide and seek with the Lord, don't we? We may hide in shame misery, concern or because of a lack of faith. But we once again are discovered by the person searching for us: our Savior.

I am beginning to be encouraged to maybe not hide in the most discreet places from Christ. When we do, we only place ourselves nearer to sin, and farther from Him. Thankfully, as we will experience at many points in our lives, He constantly does find us. He never loses this game on Earth, and did not lose the game of eternity.

For me, having two homes can be difficult. Lugging my stuff from home to home or attending every family member's events is quite challenging. I have discovered something pretty incredible about Christ though. I sometimes find myself saying this hurtful phrase to my parents, "I am just going to go stay at _____ house then!", filling in the blank with the opposite parent I am talking to. Sometimes I just want to get away.-away from the current circumstances to experience so called peace. Once I drive my car over the other home though, only more turmoil stirs within me. Peace really only does lie in Him. Nothing here will satisfy you permanently. The experience of having divorced parents has also taught me something crucial to how I view people. With some of the most diverse parents one could ever imagine, the experiences of their lives contribute to their wisdom, which they can then teach me. They have all at some point (as we all do) ventured outside of the path God has directed for them, and learned something. As Christ found them, put them under His wing, and brought them back under the pouring out of glory and blessings, they are inspired to share the Word of God. No matter how far outside of the Lord's law and love they stood, they were saved, uplifted and transformed.

Although in our lives we may feel lost, frightened, confused or even bewildered with things of the flesh, we need to know that our way home is not too far. Although we may be miles from where we aspire or should be, we still so have a starting point, a destination, and a current home in Him. We are only miles from somewhere, never from nowhere.

Isaiah 40:31~But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

We know that we have that somewhere. And, that Somewhere is wanting us to visit and stay there.

Think Outside the Bun.

"Alexa, you need to drive me to Taco Bell. I have an interview!" These were the first words out my brother's mouth yesterday when I came home from school. After endlessly searching for a job, he is one person truly deserving of a job, even in the economy of today. We got into my car, and drove over to the Taco Bell near our home. Nervous yet excited, Alex was ready to make a great impression. He walked inside to meet with the manager, and I went across the street to Raley's while he was inside the restaurant. I decided to get him an energy drink (his favorite) as I stuck to my regular Diet Coke and Big Red gum. I got back to my car and sat and waited. What to do on this Thursday afternoon, 20 minutes before I needed to be at work?

While I was in the store I noticed an elderly couple walking with each other as they carefully chose the best produce and picked up candy for their grandchildren. I always smile when I see an elderly couple so in love or caring for each other in a Godly way. I zipped over to the express lane instead of standing in line behind them, and was now sitting in my car. As I racked my brain for something to fill the time, I decided to play some music on my iPod. I decided on Jars of Clay and I began to feel at peace. I then looked up across the parking lot and once again saw the couple. Now they had somebody helping them out with their few bags of groceries to their red van. The man helped his wife into her seat and then got into the drivers seat. The engine started and the van began to move. As it turned the corner right in front of my car I was drawn to a faded sign attached to the back window and trunk opener. I now know why I was so fascinated with the couple in the first place. What was written on the back of their car was a clear message I needed to hear. It said in all capitals "25 Matthew 40-45."

"And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

I reached to the backseat and grabbed my study bible. On first glance I began to feel slightly insecure about my lack of knowledge or memorization of this verse. It was on the "memorize" category of my Bible, and now I see why. This man's life mission was to do good for other people. One thing many have noticed about Jesus is that he does not waste any words; every single word of His Word has clarity and specificity. The ease at which we can praise Him every day; from the small actions of everyday to monumental servanthood all praise our Savior. Why would I not do something for someone else, if in fact it was for Him. On Earth though the distractions are inevitable and so prevalent. We must remember this simple phrase: If we are loving God, we will be loving people. If we are loving people, we are loving God.

Faith, Hope and Love. The three words that bring joy to our lives as Christians, or non-believers. While I was sitting with my dog watching T.V. the other night I realized something else. Animals, once you get past the begging of treats, or the jumping for a walk, all have one thing in common: they are so eager to give and receive love. One purpose for them on this earth is to love and be loved. The same is true for humans: when all is stripped away; possessions, needs, fears, or even relationships, all we want is to be loved. Our inner being is composed of it and longs for it.

The similar ideas of servanthood, love and the verse I saw that beautiful afternoon just came toppling down on me at once. The Lord knew it was something that I really needed to hear at this point in my life, and maybe you do too.

My brother raced back to my car as I pulled out of Taco Bell with a smile on his face, "one more interview to pass, and I got the job!" The van was in front of us with the white letters slowly deteriorating from the back window. Those letters, that verse, had been there awhile. Frankly, I believe it has touched so many people's life as it did mine.

I encourage you to "think outside of the bun" every once in a while. Think outside of the boundaries of earth's restrictions and laws and place yourself under Christ's guidance.

GOD-oincidences.

Emotions are complex. I used to view emotions as a few staple ones, ranging in intensity, or being combined in certain circumstances. But some emotions could never seem to be labeled, controlled, initiated, or stopped. And because I am not a rebellious teenage girl, or do not have emotional oddities, I cannot simply point the origin of the emotions to myself. But I do feel them, and I know many others do as well.

I have been on this earth for almost seventeen years. I feel as though I have learned a lot, and seen a lot in the time I have been living. Still to this day, I find myself stating the same remark. "Life is so random." This can either follow something exciting, tragic, or just plain odd. Nonetheless, I seem to say it often.

Is life truly random? Are things just thrown into the schemes of our lives for no specific purpose? Maybe, random events, or coincidences are in our lives to keep us entertained. Or, to keep us on our toes in the journey we call a lifetime.

This concept hit home for me on two nights ago. At Metro Calvary, I attend an exceptional women's Bible study. As we read and interpreted Ephesians 6, I was drawn to a woman who had an inspiring story to tell. After battling breast cancer she came to know the Lord in a different way, and in a different light. She heard the Holy Spirit so clearly it was difficult to not be obedient. What seemed to be a tragedy, became a milestone point of faith in her life. The diagnosis of cancer was not a coincidence. She must walk through the valley of the shadow of death to lay by the green pastures she now sees.

No wonder people speak of seeing the Lord when they are at their lowest of lows and deepest trials. Our lives are being molded and shaped by the Lord. It takes a wake-up call to loosen our outer shell to get to the interior. These coincidences, as they appear from an earthly perspective cannot be random. Coincidences in our lives are in fact GOD-oincidences.

Here is what I have learned. If you ask for a challenge; get fully prepared to receive one. If we prepare our

hearts to be open to the love and grace that the Father and Son provide, get ready to receive it. But also,

be prepared to see things that appear to be random on the surface. The Word puts it perfectly, as it

always does."The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."- Deuteronomy 29:29. There are many things we will never know, and never understand, but that is left up the Lord. We must know, that the Lord does not throw things into our lives, our dash, our earthly existence, for randomness sake.

These GOD-oincidences are irresistible. If you ever feel or experience one, the emotion is remarkable. The tugging of the Holy Spirit is present, and obedience is our choice. As we transform our mental vocabulary form "coincidence" to "God-oincidence", hope abounds. Trials may bring God, joy may bring God, but God's plan is not one of randomness.

The Search

I am beyond blessed. I was introduced to an incredible church, Metro Calvary about one month ago. I have learned more than I could ever imagine, feel more fulfilled than I have ever felt before, and am empowered by the insight Pastor Richard Cimino has shared every Sunday and Monday. My friend Dan showed me this church..and I'm hooked. The environment of love, truth, and friendship is remarkable. I go there a lot too- 3 days a week. I cannot get enough of it. Now I am looking to areas to serve. I cannot continue to take from this church and not give back. As I said, I am SO blessed to have seen Metro. God has his hand in every aspect of ministry there, it is so obvious. And, although I could potentially be leaving for college in a year and a half, I am so grateful to have seen this church now. I am going to put my heart into this one...it is incredible.
So, where is this blog going? This is the background to why my mindset has shifted.
Well, Sunday was wonderful. Church always sets me in a mood of optimism and hope...I was ready to take on the world. I did realize something this day. Isn't it interesting how we can overlook something so obvious to us; something we look at every day or hear time and time again?
I saw a plaque in Target. It stated "Let us believe that heaven is on earth, and rejoice in it!" At first glance I noticed how beautifully the plaque was decorated...it would match my room perfectly. I kept repeating the words; they sounded beautiful. It sounded like it would be a good change of heart for me. But I began to think about what this short, sweet saying truly did mean.

If I begin to view this world as one comparable to heaven, I will give up now. Thankfully, this world does not even resemble heaven in the least. We are SAVED from this world, FORGIVEN for our sins, and we spend ETERNITY with him. Words of hope to get us through these days of trials: that is what one needs. We cannot confuse the two opposite worlds of existence. We can search this world and find glimmers of hope of Salvation, and we can speak with Him. Heaven is not here, but we serve Him while we are here. This distinct difference led me to put the plaque back on the shelf.

Another thing I overlooked was a song I listen to everyday in Publicity and Marketing in Student Government. "You Found Me", by The Fray I had always thought of as having a great beat, awesome vocals and a good meaning...but I never truly listened to this song.

Where were you?
When everything was falling apart?

Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
why'd you have to wait
to find me, to find me

God will find you. God will find each one of us, and most times it is when we are in our lowest of lows. Even if He doesn't find us when we are here, we begin to search for Him, and to listen to Him. Ask of anything and he will listen, that is guaranteed. An answer is not, but comfort is.

Pastor Richard Cimino spoke of something incredible on Sunday, and it stuck with me. He showed the reason of why we receive new bodies, flawless ones, when we enter heaven. It is so nothing can inhibit us from glorifying our God with our all. Heaven is nothing like Earth. It is the polar opposite. An eternity with him will be............. Well, a word from our language cannot encompass it.

February 14th.

I have never experienced such a depressing day in my life. It was not because of the lack of a valentine or anything of that sort. Instead, it was the sad, pitiful status updates on Facebook written by single girls saying "I hate today" or "Wow, this day sucks". The truthful longing, whether it be for attention or because of actual sadness, wore me down and I decided to log off early and write this blog. 

I shopped at Crossroads Thrift Store yesterday and realized something quite funny in our society. I will not comment of the "Why can't we celebrate Valentine's Day every day" or "it's just a Hallmark holiday" mentalities of our culture, but I do want to point something else out. 

If you have ever stopped to think about what Necco Conversation Hearts entail, it is quite interesting. The phrases , including, "Be Mine" or "Call Me" make people seem altogether desperate and needy. Think about it, we receive these little boxes of joy starting in the first grade on the Valentine exchange days. We read the phrases aloud being all excited when we get to the saying we are most wanting to receive (at least girls do). In Crossroads, they had a "Heart Search" for a 10% off coupon. After finding an "All Star" heart, I was thrilled. 

Gary Chapman talks about the Five love languages of relationships, and words of affirmation is one of them. What is funny about this though, is a box of sweet sayings just cannot fill any empty hole we need filled in our lives. Sadly, these sayings are not words of truth and complete encouragement, but the temporary bit of happiness they give some on Valentine's Day is something to be confused by. These sayings that are supposed to make us feel joyful in spirit, are thrown around all the time now- where is the validity?

Where does true hope, affirmation, and love come from? 

Love that uplifts and motivates are words of wisdom. Unfortunately, those little Conversation Hearts weren't my saving grace this year, but instead it is something that has been with me for a while. All of us can find valid words of affirmation through Him. These are eternal words, not only a box of candy that comes out once a year.

Oh goodness, let the depressing status updates stop. February 14th is a day to be grateful: of those that love you and you love. 

A Heart for Him

I decided to take a run today. And, believe me, I had not run in a while. But today it was beautiful. My favorite weather: partly cloudy, about 65 degrees and wet pavement. Yes, I am a weird one. So, as I was running, the sun came out and I started to think. 

These four years of high school have been filled with hardships, blessings, new experiences, and reflections. Through all of these I believe I have gained what I have called a hardened-heart syndrome. It is not that I am angry, shallow, or harsh, but instead an attitude of stability and closure. And, now I want that to change. 

I am desperate for a heart of peace, respect, openness and truth. I do not know why the song "Call to Arms" made me feel this way, but it surely did. I feel that my remaining time in high school needs to be spent loving people and loving the lord. I want to begin to strip away the overpowering precedent I have placed on myself, and give it up to him. I am a leader, I am a speaker, I am a dancer, I am a ...follower?

It is missing something. In the rough times speaking in front of a group of people, commissioning an event, or dancing on the dance team will not get me anywhere. It will not let me have that open heart I am striving for. 

Instead, I want to Lead people to the Lord, Speak His words of truth, and Dance as a form of praise for him. This junior year has been a year of transition to say the least. Every emotion possible, it seems, has been placed into these seven months. Yet, I do not feel tired. I feel empowered by the love he has shown he. 

I have been able to chip away at the walls of fear,  anxiety, and confusion that cover my heart and have been for a while. The worries are still present and they will always be there. But, amazingly, they are beginning to take up a smaller amount of brain-space and I am focused on other things. I want to break down the image that I have been attempting to build up these years-there is no eternal worth to it, and seek worthy things. As I have stated before, this year has been a year when I have been able to truly define my passions, and it has made this year a little bit easier. 

So, I am asking for a challenge. I want Him to help me transform my heart as He has done with my life. As I walk onto the school campus, I will express a vulnerable heart, open to new experiences, possibilities, and friendships. At the same time, I will stay strong for the Lord. This goal will probably stretch me to a place I did not know I could go. But, hey why not try?

As the sun is beginning to break through on this Valentine's Day, let it melt any icy hard surface I have placed on my heart. Let it instead fill with Your love and guidance. 

My Dash is Not Mine

My dad is one of my best friends. We seem to share the same hopes, dreams, and aspirations. One of our favorite things to do is visit colleges all around California just "for fun". My favorite part of these long drives is just being able to sit and talk openly to someone about what I want to see for my life.

Whenever we pull up to a school, we immediately begin to analyze the positives and negatives of each facet of the school. And, 20 schools later, we choose a school that should be on the top list of schools that I should apply to. I have wondered for a while now, why it is that I am so fascinated with the idea of college. Possibly it is because it is something new, exciting, or a dream I have had for a while. 

My dad and I decided to visit a school in North Carolina, High Point University, over this last summer. I had heard amazing things about this school: great communication school, awesome athletics, and well-known grad-schools around the state. The president of the school, Nido Quebein, has been one of my father's closest friends for a while now, because they are a part of Speakers Roundtable. I was so ready to see the school that was supposed to be the school of my dreams. But, I knew I had to look at this school in a different light. I would be across the country, in a different culture, and a different path than I had originally intended, if I decided to attend there. 

The second I walked on campus, I was taken aback. I have been praying to God for him to lead the way for me this last year and a half of highschool, and I am beginning to see his work.

The direction he is pushing me way I would have believed I would go if you had asked me a year ago. For me it seems that God's plan is ever changing with whatever I encounter, but I beginning to realize how big the plan actually is. 

I speak of the concept of a "dash" in a speech I do in Speech and Debate. The dash symbolizes the dash you see on a tombstone: between the year you were born and the year God takes you home. People ask me why I am in fact so passionate about this topic. It truly is because I see that the dash I am living is not for me whatsoever. With that perspective comes more responsibility, but at the same time, a sense of strong relief. 

In this sense responsibility does not have a negative connotation: not a hassle or a burden. God has done most of the work for us through his love. Now, it is our turn to relay that to the world. 

So, this is where the university comes in. Nido Quebein's faithfulness is contagious. As one walks onto the campus you feel that it is a blessed place. The students are happy, the colors are bright, the faculty is supportive. The first girl I met on campus taught me something special. With a Bible in one hand and her book-bag in the other she said, "I never let academics weigh me down," as she showed the two items in a "scale-like" fashion. She is becoming a theology major at HPU after being accepted to Yale, Smith and Brown. Wow. She saw something special in the school, and so do I.

God's Plan is so much bigger than mine. It may be vastly different too. So every day I try to align them as best as possible. Only God knows if HPU is where I will end up, if that is a part of my dash.

God is the engraver of the dash. And I feel that he wants mine to be one of significance. Lord, keep me strong as I search for a school. Let it only be the exact fit to the mold you have created for me. 

Can You Fake Passion?

I am tired. And, that probably is an understatement. After a day of being quadruple entered in crazy mind-wearing events, I still feel the need to blog about this, even though it is one o'clock in the morning- I am afraid the tiredness will cause it to wear off by morning time. 

As the team was waiting in the seating area of Olive Garden (for quite the long time for that matter) the captain of our team asked me a question. "Alexa, do you think you can fake passion?" Allen is always asking intelligent questions. This question though we both did not know the answer to. He told me to ask him in a few years. "Maybe by then I will have the answer," he said.

Looking at my own life, there is a lot of adversity I have encountered. I can say that passion originates in the roughest of times. When we are at our lowest of lows, we begin to discover what is important to us, and what we will achieve. Discouragement and obstacles only catapults us into the mentality of urgency to begin to live for something. We search to find what we will hold on to, to leave a legacy and live a life of significance. And this, is where passion comes in. Passion is not a concern of the mind or of goals. Passion is a matter of the heart. What do we dream about? What makes us smile? What makes us cry?

My passion in life can not be misunderstood, and I want it to be known. I want to leave a life of significance: one that serves the lord faithfully, and lets others see his greatness through me and through their own experiences. Now, the question comes into play: how can I fake that?

I am a Servant. Is that a Bad Thing?

I had the privelege and responsibility of introducing a lesson to our new student governmnet class for the Spring. I chose the lesson titled Servant Leadership, not knowing what I would learn from it. After researching what exactly it means to be one, I aspire to be just that. Webster defines a servant as one that performs duties of a master. The Bible defines it as service for the Master. Applying Webster's version to Student Government, I began to talk about how we, as leaders of our school, need to be persistent workers, helpers, and role models, regardless of where we are on the hierarchy of "status" in Student Government. I extended this thought beyond solely Student Government. If Servant Leadership was supposed to be such an amazing trait to have, who am I serving every day-with a grateful heart?

As Christians we serve God every day, but there is something more to it. Unlike Servant Leadership is defined, with God there is a two-way relationship. This relationship is fulfilling and inspiring, unlike a draining job where we serve people and earthly things. I have always known God to be the source of hope, wisdom and direction, but there is more than that. As a servant, we must love our job but not our people, but to be a servant of God, we love our mission, our God and the people. If we love God, we love people. If we love people, we love God. It is as simple, and beautiful as that. 

My Unexpectadly Remarkable Summer

Yes, I will admit it...I will never forget that soon-to-be-summer day. I sat organizing food for the snack bar at my highschool, happy as ever, waiting for the annual Powderpuff game. The day swiftly turned for me though...with three words: "Dr. Kiley called."
I had been going to the doctor often...almost every day, actually. Test after test, needle after needle, it wasn't very pleasant to say the least. But I prayed..it truly is the only thing that keeps the filled mind at rest. As I sat in the waiting room of the oncology offices at Kaiser Morse Avenue, I felt something. My knees were shaking and my palms were cold. I definately did not want to be at this lifeless place. They attemted to lighten up the room with happy sayings and little brightly colored wristbands, but it truly is difficult to let your impending discouragement and never ending thoughts to settle, and be elevated by the colors and wristbands. I needed something more. Something to ease the tension for solely that one day. I had to be strong.
The usual weight, height and blood pressure tests were occuring, but I cannot even remember that. All I wanted was to see my doctor, who know appeared to be a father considering the amount of times I had looked him in the eye. He sat down on the crackly paper on the bed and did not have the encouraging face I was desperate to see.
The summer of 2008 was an obstacle I could have never expected to encounter. But I learned something. God is NEVER failing. At the lowest of lows in the doctor's office that say I told you I felt something. I sensed God's grip on me throught the hot summer days in Granite Bay.
He is my stabilizer, my listener, my supporter, and my redeeemer. I have always been a among people of the church. But I can truly say for the first time, I am a follower and disciple. The insurmountable love I felt from God day after day in the months of July and August will be a constant reminder of his never failing presence. I have always heard that God seems to be asked for when the times are tough...and yes I do know I can only be another person that supports that theory.
Was God challenging me? Was he testing me? Was he showing others my strength? Or was he only showing himself to me in a way he knew I would have open eyes and ears to see him. Whatever the case may be, God was and is with me. I trust that he will constantly be there, and I am now on a mission. To feel his presence when the times are not so tough, and to serve him until the day I leave this earth to be with him.
The questions at the beginning of the summer mainly consisted of "Why me?", but now I am hearing myself say, "Thank you, God". Thank you pushing me to the depths of earthly despair only to revel in the light and hope of the salvation you provide us. It must be part of God's plan that I am healthy now. And of course I am grateful, and I feel strong-physically and spiritually.
The summer of 2008 was one of remarkability. My continuous struggle to be perfect was for once succumbed by my God. I feel at peace and empowered more than I ever would have felt on my own. As I walked into the doctor's office for another precautionary exam, I felt your hands gripping my shoulders-letting me lead the way, but feeling your comfort and guidance.
Thank you Lord for letting me experience you at such a young age, and let me walk with and for you forever.