Empty Nester

College is such a weird time. For many, it includes moving away from your parents and away from the comfortable.  It means moving away from the normal and into the unknown. And, for our parents, the consistent routine of making breakfast, packing lunches, and waiting up for us late into the evening for curfew. 

As we grow up we often hear the saying, “Life moves so quickly..enjoy every moment..” For the Christian Faith there are two distinct “moments” that we must embrace, understand, and cherish. First, we have our time on this side of heaven. Second, we have our eternal time with our Father in Heaven.   
But did you catch what was just said? God has never stopped being our father, and our authority. I am beginning to see that as Christians, we often forget that our Father is our father now, will be our father forever in Heaven, and has long been our father for eternity. If time is not attached to the Lord, and He really is the omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent God that we fear and love, we have always been His children and always will be His. He is our father before we were conceived. He is our father while we fall into sin on this earth, and He is our father when we meet him face to face and become “like Him for we shall see Him as He is”.  (1 John 3:2) We will never be perfect in the flesh as Jesus Christ lived and breathed. But we will be “like” our father again one day, without weakness or imperfection. And for once, we can see our Father as He really is for everlasting life. These glorified bodies will be without sin and error: we will never grow sick or die. 

Let us keep in mind that as Christians, we know the end of the story. Let us also keep in mind that God knows the end of the beautiful story He has created. This being said, God has allowed his created children to step into a world with uncertainty. Just as our parents let us step into a new college environment, or move to a new state, Jesus allowed his perfect children to enter into a world of sin.
I do not believe that the earthly sadness of parting ways with my parents at my college orientation can compare to the strength it takes for our God to witness His creation facing temptation daily on Earth. God did not have to do this though...God does not have to do anything. Instead, we are placed on this earth with one great decision: with our free will, will we choose to return to our father in Heaven and listen to his commandments for his children. 

The family unit we have been blessed with on Earth is just as much for our growth and enjoyment as it is a clear analogy of our Father’s love for us.  The love of our earthly mother and father is something we can appreciate and comprehend. Our eternal father though has even more interest in our well being and our pursuance of Himself than our mother and father. For me that is often hard to imagine, but it certainly adds gravity to the concept of “free will”.
Just as God allowed his sons and daughters to walk on an earth that would later be tainted by sin, we are allowed to choose if we return to the place He has created for us. God has a lot on the line for us, doesn’t He? 

God has taken on the role of “empty nesting” so that we can grow, learn, trust, and grow in FAITH. Without leaving the Lord, we would never be able to learn about what it means to have a family, grow in a marriage that is the representation of Christ’s love for the church, or have our own children and let us feel parental responsibility. 

In fact, God gave us the right to become children of God. The Lord let us be lights in a dark world, even though we face and fall to things of darkness. “He gave the right to become children of God, who were born not of blood nor the will of the flesh nor the will of man, but of God”. (John 1:12-13. We were born of God, and love in a world that is now not of God. Yet, he allows it.  He allows it for our learning and for our free will. He blesses us with an option to return to Him once more. And, he blessed us with Fatherly wisdom through faith. And, he blesses us with a safe home where we can return: and he is always waiting up long into the evening for us.

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him”.  (Psalm 103:13)

The Sailing Relationship

I am currently sitting at a Panera Bread Restaurant refreshing my web browser to check my current grades in all of my classes. Finals are completed, and my sophomore of college has come to a close. I cannot believe how fast time goes, and it blows my mind to even begin reminiscing on the incredible moments of this last semester.

January 2012- A month of change:  New classes, new major, and new friends. The college group at my local church grew in exponential ways, and I met lifetime friends through my roommate's connections in North Carolina.

February 2012- A month of affirmation: Experiences that forced me to remember what I believe and why I believe it strengthened my faith in remarkable ways. Nobody seemed to notice or really question my faith during this time period, and that is what me seek the Lord like never before. By far the toughest month I have had since being in college.

March 2012- A month of relationships: Spent precious time with my grandmother and her friends. I had time to slow down, and met an incredible man of God. Incomprehensible blessings.

April 2012- A month of "cleaning": I opened my bible each day with a refreshed look at the scriptures. Besides the consistent presence of the Holy Spirit, the Bible is really all we have in discovering the truths of the Lord. And, literal cleaning of my dorm and my belongings occurred.

And now, I am here; Reflecting on God's goodness and His fascinating plan. It was not how I saw this semester going-at all. I expected a month of personal spiritual growth and self-maturation. Instead, I found the gift of genuine relationships. I had never experienced friendships and mentoring ever in my life. These were people that cared and were present. They were the ones that texted me immediately when they saw me upset and carved out time in their busy schedules to just "be". It was a foreign concept to me. It shocked me that there were individuals who loved like Christ and were generous like his teachings ask of us.

They told me what I wanted to hear, and what I did not want to hear. I do believe that our Christian brothers and sisters may have wisdom for our lives that we do not have. God blesses and reveals to our friends truths of one another so we can give sound, and righteous advice.  Let us continue to seek the Lord when dealing with our friends. We are aiding His sons and daughters to make important decisions. And, we are encouraging them to continue glorifying the kingdom.

Proverbs 12:26The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

I am nervous to leave North Carolina. I am nervous to leave this "safe" home where continual friends are surrounding me at every corner and my church is down the road.  But, I cannot wait to enter into the place I grew up and be the type of friend I have described. The men and women I have met here build me up and encourage me to stay on the road the Lord has paved for me. They have taught me this difficult and beautiful truth:
Proverbs 27:5-6An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

I thank God for relationships. I thought God that the greatest commandment is love. I pray to God that I learn to emulate the actions of my incredible friends.

Friendship is marked by sacrifice. Friendship is marked by action and prayer. Let us pray for our friends today, so we can advise, counsel and love in the ways of Christ.

John 15:13–15 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

Empty Hands

I walked into my dorm room and nearly collapsed from exhaustion. Thirteen brown Home Depot boxes filled to the brim with picture collages, winter coats, shoes, textbooks, and my book collection, were now safely locked up in my storage unit. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders (no pun intended), as I locked the unit and jumped into my car. I drove away and sensed that aching feeling one gets on their forearm after he or she has carried a few too many grocery bags on their arm to save precious time. I was feeling the effects, and knew that I would crash later in the evening. I turned on the radio and the song “Wholly Yours” was cheerfully playing on K-Love. My spirits rose as I sang my heart out driving down the country roads of North Carolina. It brings joy to us as believers when we hear the words “Holy is our God” and we are “Wholly His”. I listened intently as a lyric was sung that I had never noticed in the past.

  “And the truest sign of grace was this… From wounded hands redemption fell down liberating man.”

Our Savior was wounded, wasn’t He? Jesus Christ was wounded. We wounded our Savior. Our sins caused and cause Him pain. It cost Him physical pain. Soldiers are wounded. Professional Athletes may even be wounded. Our Savior cannot be wounded, can He? And finally, why His hands? Why do we recognize, remember, reminisce, and recall his hands when we contemplate the crucifixion?

Suddenly the nagging pain in my hands from moving became miniscule. My bodily aching was relieved.

Jesus was wounded for me. His hands were pierced for me. His perfect and beautiful hands were torn for us.

Have you ever thought about the incredible gift our hands are? Our hands allow us to move the brown boxes where we keep our belongings. Our hands allow us to write exam papers and type on keyboards. Our hands allow us to drive our cars and wave hello. Our hands allow us to pick someone up if they have fallen down. And, our hands allow us to hold newborn babies, console our loved ones, and give to those in need.

“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy”- Proverbs 31:20

My father was born with only three fingers and one leg. He takes every second to use his hands for good; Whether that is energizing audiences to see the joy in life, or to motivate them to look UP. He realized the importance of his hands from an early age as chopsticks and piano playing would never be is forte. He decided to use his hands to write books, and hold a microphone so many could hear GOOD NEWS.

What will we use our hands for? What did Jesus use his hands for? Something I find very interesting about Jesus, is you do not hear of Him “carrying heavy loads”, or “having His hands full”. Instead, the Jesus revealed in the scriptures is a Healing Jesus. Jesus’ hands broke bread and fed multitudes. Jesus’ hands healed a man born blind. Jesus’ hands washed the disciples feet. Jesus’ hands raised Lazarus from the dead. Jesus' hands were full-but never physically. Jesus kept His hands open, and empty. Jesus kept himself free of the material and was concerned with the eternal.

Maybe, empty hands are the blessed hands. Empty hands that are not only willing to serve but ready to serve will be utilized.

“But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”- Isaiah 64:8

We haul our life around in pretty brown boxes. We forget how our hands could be used. Jesus must be our example. Jesus did not let himself stay “weighed down” and never kept his hands” full. Instead, He gave much. We love to think that full hands have something tangible to give. Isn’t it true though, that empty hands are the ones used for the caring hug and wiping away tears. We literally cannot be of service if we keep our hands full.

  Jesus’ hands were wounded… Jesus Christ’s hands were perfect, and from them came the fullness of life. Blood poured from the hands of the One who formed us in our mother’s womb. Blood poured from the hands that shaped our being. Blood poured from the hands that raised the dead and healed the sick.

Why are we not using our hands for the building up of His people. We must abstain from sin and use our literal hands to bring the Good News to his children. The resurrection of Jesus is living proof of His masterful, yet still scarred hands. The wounds are there and will always be there. Yet, He still gave. He gave us the Great Commission with wounded hands to bring peace and His teachings to nations. We cannot let a physical limitation, or an emotional setback keep us from utilizing the bodies with which we were blessed.

  “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”- John 10:28

Amen.

The Strength of the Lord

Weather is a funny thing. It is often the topic of conversation or a determining factor in a days' plans. I often think about the might of the Lord...how strong really is He? If he can direct the sun, moon, wind, rain and lightning from our skies, what can he NOT do? Today I was walking about High Point, NC and felt a sharp gust of wind that nearly knocked me over. What causes that? What causes the intense change in our weather? Many attribute it to science, but as I grow older I see glimpses of our Lord and Savior in our weather.

Each year we face four different and diverse seasons...and they are so beautiful. Each one is characterized by something unique. Our lives are like that, aren't they? As we grow and evolve into the person God desires for us to become we will go through hot spells of pressure and intense heat. We will lose hope, and question our faith. The "leaves" of our life may drop away and leave us feeling barren. Cold weather sweeps in and makes us question our place in the world. All is covered in snow, we cannot see where we are going. Finally though, new life is promised. New life is guaranteed. New life is fulfilled. We must remember that seasons serve a purpose that fuels our environment. The seasons in our life fuel our faith in the Living and True God.

When I felt that wind gust today it knocked me off balance. It was powerful. Our Lord and Savior is SO powerful. And he is constant. But, the effects His powerful "weather" has on our life will create different seasons. The effects we see from his powerful intervention may result in the falling away of old habits, or the sprouting of new flowers after showers. In His word we find literal weather to be the intervention-to wake His people up!

1 Samuel Ch. 12:18-20

So Samuel called unto the LORD; and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day: and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.

19 And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the LORD thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king.

20 And Samuel said unto the people, Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart;

Are we not so often like this? We are stubborn. We do not want rough weather. Often rough weather can scare us enough to serve and trust though. And, that is why rough weather...weather that knocks you a little off balance..is necessary. Let us be grateful for the storm. Let us be joyful in all weather.

Open

This is a simple and short post...

Let us join together as Christians to show that we CARE. That we really do care. That we care about anothers' salvation. That we care about their soul. That a persons' life can be used to the glory of God...right NOW! We cannot be apathetic. We must open our arms wide to all and show the grace and mercy of our savior. Jesus is the model as His arms stretched wide for us on the cross. He defined compassion. He defined sacrifice. Instead of crossing our arms...let us open up. Let us realize that time is SO short and our kingdom is SO great.

Check this out...Amazing Organization!! :)

Morning

From the book of Lamentations...


22 "Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

Every single morning we can trust in the Lord's compassion when feel none from the world. Every morning we are covered in grace to avoid the consuming world. Every morning we can proclaim that God is good, and Great is His faithfulness. Each morning we can declare that the Lord is our portion, and the things of earth can grow dimmer and dimmer until we no longer see them. Every morning we can wake up with a clean slate. Every morning we can trust in his mercies and His voice. Every morning we can stretch our bodies for the long day ahead, knowing He will provide. Every morning we can thank our God for our sleeping, and the clearing of our minds. Each morning we can remember that God chose to have the sun rise for His children. Every morning we can look forward to hearing the waking of His creation.

God never sleeps. God is continual love. God never ceases to pour His blessings upon us. I am beginning to fall in love with the morning; it is the origination of the day of proclaiming the Gospel. Let us fall in love with mornings- our God spends each moment as we sleep, pouring His grace upon us in preparation for our waking and doing. In fact, every second of the day he begins preparation for the following morning-when we make the decision to sacrifice our days to bring HIM glory and bring HIM praise.

Sustaining through Steadfastness

Have you ever felt lied to? Betrayed? Trampled over? Just plain tired? I have. In fact I am right now. The Lord is my sustainer, giver of Life, and Savior-but are words really enough? We always hear the phrase growing up, “Actions speak louder than words.” Why is that? Why is our given word not always binding us to the Truth and the words of our mouth prove us to be far from a Good God? As Christians, our actions must speak LOUDLY. How can we do this?
I believe in God’s divine providence. In fact, I am one of those radical Christians that believes in the Lord overseeing all moves that we make each day. So, I love just flipping my Bible’s pages through my fingers and opening up to a random section, whenever I feel like it. And, it always seems like there is pertinent information and Good News for that specific day (even when you open up to a book like Habakkuk or Exodus!). Tonight, at 12:15 am, I did this. Now, I am wide awake basking in the Glory of our Lord and Savior.

If we have sat in a few church services, we have most likely heard the verse Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” When flipping through the pages of my bible though I opened to this passage and read the preceding verses. “For thus says the Lord: When Seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place.”
God promises to fulfill. The covenant He made with the people must be made to retroact and diminish the teachings made by false prophets in the region. While many were “deceiving” and prophesying to the people in the name of the Lord, Our Father held His covenant. To abolish the false teachings of false prophets our omnipotent and omnipresent God knew He must intervene to uphold His promise to Babylon. He knew the plans He had for Babylon. Plans to give it a future and a hope. Often we think the Lord is just speaking to us when we read Jer. 29:11, don’t we? Instead, the Lord is speaking to nations, to the world, and to each and every one of His children. He is not speaking simply of an intervention when false prophets arise, or glimpses of hope in times of darkness. No, God is talking about entire redemption and fulfillment. Our God is not a God who makes and breaks promises. Our God is not a God who declares His might to scare, threaten, or frighten. I am beginning to see that the Lord’s voice is one of Steadfast presence. God’s entire mission-even when he was here as “God in the bod” (Jesus), was to substitute the lack, and be the consubstantiation for the sins of the world. It was a fulfillment and it was a continuance. Then why was it “finished” when Christ was crucified? The ultimate covenant was fulfilled. Snapshots of the intensity of God’s promises are revealed through His covenants from Genesis 1 until Revelation 22. Once again, God wants to make it VERY clear that He is our sustainer through steadfastness. Through steadfastness alone, God is different and God is Holy. Our Earth and none of the people are steadfast and unconditional…relationships are broken, lies are spread and promises certainly are not fulfilled. While things of this earth wither and die, God’s glory, grace, and mercy are unchanging. Our Heavenly Father’s actions on the Cross fulfilled his Glorious words from Day One. Let us give this method a test run. Let us try to not only bring someone hope today…but really follow through with that friendship and foster its maturity. Let us prioritize a task and truly complete the work dutifully and with integrity. We will fail as we are living in a conditional world. But, when we do come through, and when we do fulfill all that we speak we become different. As Christians let’s become people of our word. Let us become people who aim to sustain. Let us transform into the likeness of God by fulfilling all of the callings and desires that the Lord places in our heart and soul.


“When the Lord pours out an especial spirit of prayer, it is a good sign that he is coming toward us in mercy. Promises are given to quicken and encourage prayer”- Matthew Henry

Lukewarm

Recently, many have asked me my views on anything from Gay Marriage, to abortion, to divorce, or even tattoos. I wanted to write a quick excerpt on how I answer these questions. I am no expert, but riding the line between Legalism, Timid Faith, and not standing up for your faith at all, is quite tricky as believers. We want people to appreciate our presence so that in the end, they may hear the gospel from our lips. Yet, we cannot sacrifice our beliefs, views, the Word, or His calling in front of worldly temptations just to be “well-liked”.

Here are some interesting definitions of which I am glad I now have clarity:

Legalism: Excessive adherence to law or formula, Or b) Dependence on moral law rather than on personal religious faith.

Faith: Belief that is not based on truth.

Testimony: a solemn attestation as to the truth of a matter.

These three Webster definitions seem pretty dark, don’t they? When we are confronted with a thought process that questions or shakes our faith, how do we respond? Do we hold fast to what has been taught from the pulpit in hopes that strong conservative mindsets will hold out? Do we simply have blind faith knowing that the Lord is alive in our lives but claiming there is no “proof”. Or, do we just speak our testimony hoping it “wins” the questioning person over without stepping on anyone’s toes? I seem to stick to number three…and is the fruit around me proving that this recent method has been effective? No. Instead, we must let the word speak for itself. Truth, is everlasting and Truth will stand. BUT, Truth is attached to grace and mercy-both of which are fulfilled in love and compassion. When we speak the truth in love and compassion, we must not worry about hurting a brother or sister in Christ, or a nonbeliever. Instead, we must cling to Child Like Faith-not blind faith-seeking the questions and answers from our Heavenly Father with fervent passion. That is what we were created for! To seek and know our Father! In addition, we must keep in mind that questions or pokes from seekers may move or shake our faith-this is not a negative consequence. This is where many people disagree with me. As believers are we supposed to be people that do not allow our faith to be vulnerable? Our faith should be open and expressed which allows it to be vulnerable, and allows it to evolve, mature and grow. This is far different than a question “jeapordizing” our faith. The only thing out faith should not be is fleeting in times of turmoil or subject to world or human emotions-FAITH is of the Most High.

When we are confronted with questions from believers, seekers, questioners, mockers, friends, family, or strangers, let us remember to stray away from legalism and harsh tones. Let us give more than our own testimony. Let us give the TRUTH-and not be afraid of its power! The earth may not agree with it, but its Power will stand. And, its Power will stand in Grace, Mercy, Love, and Compassion. This is something we can have child-like faith in, and leave up to God.

A beautiful depiction of faith: (Mark 5)
When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. 22 Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. 23 He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” 24 So Jesus went with him.
A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Testimony...through the most unlikely of places!

This was an application I just completed for the opportunity to Study, learn, worship, and have a time of discernment with the Lord in Scotland this summer. I learned so much about myself while typing it, so I thought I would share it. It got me thinking about what a testimony really is.

1. Why do you wish to participate?
I wish to participate for two key reasons. One, I don’t think it is myself who is wishing to participate. The timing of this mission and retreat comes at a time in my life that only His divine plan and Hands could form. Secondly, I am excited to have another spiritual adventure with LAVIM. After Honduras for going on three years each summer, I know the professional aspect and friendly grace that comes with this organization. I have been feeling drawn towards the mission field each season of my life-now it is a time of discernment with just me and the Lord, and fellow believers (my peers).
2. Describe your personal experience of God.
I grew up in a mega-church until the age of 16, full of electric guitars, blinking lights, and programs, stages, and flat screen plasma televisions everywhere one could look. The cross, or signs of the empty tomb were nowhere to be seen: something BIG was missing. My freshman year of highschool at the age of 15, I remember praying a prayer in the middle of Mexicali, Mexico following a nightly time of worship. I was on a mission for the Lord there, doing construction and leading Vacation Bible School. I remember a heart-wrenching message that came from the Lord Himself, through the mouth of our mission leader. He said, “Ask the Lord to make you UNCOMFORTABLE. Break away numbness. Await a challenge from the Lord to grow and challenge your faith in a radical way. So then I did the dumbest thing I could have ever done: I prayed that prayer. You see, it was not actually “dumb”, but to a world of consumerism, materialism and complacency, it was. Fast forward one year to the exact week of March 28th, 2008, and I was diagnosed with stage two Ovarian Cancer in both ovaries with fear of spreading to my entire body. Frightened? Yes. Troubling my faith? Most definitely. God works in radical ways with ordinary individuals to achieve extraordinary results though, doesn’t he? I can now say I understand that. Through my bought with cancer, I met one of my greatest lifelong friends, Daniel Walbert, who brought me to a church home in Granite Bay, CA where I called home. I not only invested myself in this thing they called the “Word”, but I meditated on it. I began to realize that blind faith does not include an uneducated faith. Seek your answers with only childlike faith, and seek the Lord continually! I worshipped and grew in insurmountable ways as I grew closer to my creator until I graduated highschool two years ago. Currently I attend High Point University in North Carolina studying both Business and Religious Studies as my two majors there. I love learning, and I love seeking. I am a curious person when it comes to religious Experience, and I fiercely pursue all that God brings into my life. I do attend two churched in North Carolina right now. I have always attended Grace UMC in Ruston, when visiting Mary Shankles (my grandmother and true Spiritual mentor in all senses of the word). While in High Point though, the two churches that are near to the church that foster a great program for young adults is St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in High Point, and The Journey Church of High Point. To be honest with you Mr. Norman and Ms. Coppit, finding a home church to not only attend but grow in, has been the greatest challenge of my years at HPU. I still attend regularly, yet long for a deeper connect to a church family and the Church as a whole. That is why coming back to California for breaks, or spending long months of the summer with my Grandma in Louisiana, allows for times of intense spiritual growth. I await the Lord’s timing with this…He has me in His hands!
3. Please indicate your state of physical and emotional health (the mission will include opportunity for some rigorous activity and travel hours will be long). Is there anything the team leader(s) should know regarding your health (allergies, diet, etc.)?
Now I threw out the “C” word to you, didn’t I?! J I am in great health now, by the grace of God. I am completely in remission and have had zero health scares since. I take medication regularly, but it does not affect anything in regard to my physical condition whatsoever. I am fit, enjoy traveling, and zero allergies or diet restraints.
4. Team members may be given the opportunity to participate in Iona worship services. Would you be comfortable doing this?I would be honored.
5. Please list your skills, your gifts for ministry in the church. What skills and talents do you bring to this mission that you perceive might be used at Iona?My heart has always been on the mission field. I remember my first mission trip with LAVIM to Honduras in 2010. I recall sitting in the hot sun mixing mortar and cement allowing my emotions of the earth get to my spirit. I glanced up at Carolina, the most precious depicition of innocence and God’s love that I have ever experienced. She just smiled at me. And later came up and gave me papayas from her garden. She said that she loved me and wanted me to “smile”. This story reveals some pretty fantastic aspects of our Lord and Jesus. First, the Lord notices us, and knows how to speak to us. I have always felt close to the Lord through SMILES. I was born with a cleft lip, and used to be self conscious about my smile. I love seeing people smile: to witness joy in the midst of a depraved world is rare and beautiful! That is why at High Point University I started a chapter of Operation Smile, an increibble nonprofit raising money for cleft lips and palattes. Now, many asked me why I didn’t do something in the line of ministry if it is my greatest passion? I believe that a smile, a comforting grin, is often enough of a witness to His grace, than anything at all. His mercy and grace allow us to smile each day-nothing of this world. We have created 10 smiles so far with Op. Smile at HPU. Very time we send an email to our 200 person team we leave with this: ”Keep smiling, and Keep looking up!!” Keep looking to the heavens for your Hope and Your smile. It will be perfected in Him. So, between my incredible run-ins with Jesus incarnate in the beautiful children of each mission I participate, and seeing God’s love and grace in SMILES, I also love the Hebrew language. I am studying my second year next semester, and am fascinate by it. We may not know all the answers of the mysteries of the bible, but It is important knowing why we believe what we believe-reading in the OT’s original language is part of that.
6. How do you perceive yourself, your gifts, your motives and your present and future role in the church and the world?It is pretty crazy, how after my short 19 years on this earth, God’s plan for my life is beginning to take shape. I called my Grandmother about a month ago....I said, “Grandma..the Lord has been speaking to me.” I expected her to say…ok..??? Instead she asserted, “Awesome, so what’s He been saying?!” My Grandmother saw this Lord working in my life even before I did. All I know now, is that I am in a waiting period in my life. I know my heart is on the mission field, and my strengths, from Spanish to Hebrew to ministry, are there. Yet, I have not felt his calling in any specific way at any specified time. So, now I am trying my hardest in school, and waiting for the next revelation from God. Something interesting from the Lord is that I always hear Him when I am walking somewhere. When I hear my feet stomp across the ground, I can almost hear His will being shown for my life. Maybe, God is awaiting on a plan for me to pursue something where I am moving for him-or serving for him in a physical manner, not just with my words. Talking, typing, public speaking, and debating comes easily to me-it is all I did for my entire highschool and Junior High. But physical service transcends words. Jesus WASHED His disciple’s feet…He didn’t say it would be a cool thing if He did. Let us all cleanse, let us all have the beautiful feel of the Lord walking…running…to serve.
7. Iona and its community is an ancient place in a modern world. How do you imagine an experience in a medieval abbey will influence your actions in the 21st century?
I just completed my course on Ancienct Christian Theology and Monastacism. I am not only excited for Scotland (a country of my heritage!), but also a true religious experience inside the walls of the great thinkers. I think it will just, leave my speechless and allow me time to breathe. It will keep me without words-without technology, so I can hear Him, and hear Him BOLDLY.

Horizon

This past year I was blessed with the most wonderful monetary gift I could have ever been blessed with. It makes me at peace. It calms me down. It gives me a little sense of freedom from the busy life of a type-A personality college student. Any guesses?? Anyone?? Well, my wonderful Toyota Rav-4 has been quite the luxury for my sophomore year of school at High Point University. Whenever I desire to see the world, and get off of campus for a little while, I am so blessed to be able to just hop in my car and…drive. And, you see I drive a lot. I already have 5,000 miles on my car in a short 3 months. And, I have class over half of the day each day. I have a solution for why this is the case-I am quite an introvert. You see, many do not realize that I am about as introverted as they come: sometimes people just wear me out. And all I desire is some alone time with my God. Whenever we are still, and away from all of the distractions the world presents us, we can begin to hear the voice of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. As I talked about in the last blog, this voice is not audible (for me anyway) but it most certainly becomes louder and has lasting impact when we have enough quiet time to digest the calling from the Lord. There is one common denominator when I drive: I always seem to drive on the ever-so-exciting Eastchester Drive. Eastchester has two parts: Eastchester and Westchester, which connect two cities in the state of North Carolina. So, it is fitting that you will see me driving on this road quite often. When I drive, blasting Hillsong United at the loudest volume my car can muster, I always love looking up into the sky. The horizon is a place we very often forget to look, as we are so focused on the present-the dotted and dashed yellow lines separating us from other cars. We become entranced with the present: almost obsessed with it. Often in driver’s education they call this a sort of drunkenness or hypnotism. We become so spellbound with what is familiar we forget to look ahead! Isn’t this true in our own lives? We grow tired. We grow lazy. We grow complacent. And we most certainly grow sedentary. We forget the simple act of lifting our chins upward to witness the sun rising behind the hills, the snow on top of the mountains, or even the road work ahead of us. Our own lives are the fulfillment and compilation of what we do in these small, everyday actions. We are so fed up searching for the correct curtains to block the sun, that we so often forget to look at Christ’s majesty, and His creation. We focus more on burning the toast than the thought of there the wheat even came from in the first place. We are so obsessed on the daily duties, that the screaming “collision” or “road work” just yards ahead of us goes unnoticed. Many times there will be a large turning point in the road right ahead of us..but we cannot take our eyes off the yellow lines warning us of this bend soon ahead. Why is this? Simply, because it is EASY!



When driving on Eastchester, there is another thing I always notice. The birds! And, for many of you who read my blog, you are California natives and this word picture may not be as familiar. When I say birds…I mean BIRDS…EVERYWHERE. Eastchester seems to house the largest amount of small black birds on God’s great earth. They all love to perch up on the telephone wire right above the cars. And, they all sit so close together with no space in between them, creating a beautiful silhouette against the setting sun ahead of me. I love watching these birds. Nature is God’s depiction of who we are-right in front of us. Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves in others-but when it comes to nature, it seems to be a little easier to relate. I am fascinated by what these birds do. When it becomes too comfortable for the birds, one will take its wing, and push the bird sitting right beside of it off of the wire. It is not a kind little nudge, either. A full on force is required to get these persistent buggers off of their wire and fluttering into the abyss. Isn’t God kind of like this? We all love to flock together like birds of a feather. We often forget though that the comfort of our world, or the wire, is not to be taken for granted. We will always of times of challenges where we will have to find a new home. A new source of strength. And, this is when we search for God. As the birds leave the wire, they will often soar upwards towards the skyline, past where the human eye can see them. When we are nudged off of what makes us comfortable, we are forced to find a new wire, a new platform. And, often this is not what is “cool” or what is practical. We may not be warm sitting side by side with our friends. We may be in a foreign land, we may be living off of little, we may be losing a family member, we may be going through a sickness that world cannot heal. Where do we turn when we are knocked off center? Let us begin to turn to God’s Grace. To God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. God’s riches are never ending. God’s riches are not ceasing. And God’s riches will never fail you. They may “shock” you a little bit (as I have often witnessed with the bird’s on the telephone wire), but it is for the good of your whole person. The Lord is training you to be a disciple. To be an apostle. To be a missionary of the Word for the World. Let us find ourselves relying on His grace instead of a wire of the world. It is steadier, and more consistent. We may get shocked, but we will always know where to fly back to. We may be alone here on Earth, but we will always know we have a safe platform in the Lord.

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:18

The Call

Sometimes, there really are no words. In fact, for the first time in my life, WORDS haven't been used to persuade me...or to call me. My entire life has been revolved around words: from Speech and Debate tournaments, to listening to my dad, as he is a motivational speaker. I know words. I can speak words. And, I can understand words...right?

The Lord speaks to us in a different way. As believers in Christ we will often hear, "Preach the Gospel, and if necessary use words." Some find this comical and quite true. But, I have begun to see that talking the talk is just as crucial as walking the walk. Jesus doesn't have to talk the talk or walk the walk. Instead, he is the captivating force that leads his Children to his glory. He is the Holy Spirit-who does not need words or action. Instead, all we may have is a tug on a heartstring-yet it is so clear, there is no denying it.

We can deny words or actions and attribute them to something else. When a heart is broken and mended with a new passion, it is an action of the Holy Spirit. THIS is not reversible. And the human does not want to do anything else besides follow this command. Some choose not to as earthly existence can create immediate distraction: within seconds! Yet to truly find the dwelling glory of our God, one must pursue the broken-ness. It is more than emotion: it is affliction.

I have been broken, and I have been afflicted-in the best of ways. And you know the crazy part? Some people already do not believe me. But, if the Lord has actually called me for His will, many will not believe it, huh? Why? The Lord's callings are radical. They are sacrificial. They are NOT of this earth. Earthly callings are earthly callings. Emotions are emotions. Broken-ness, sacrifice, wisdom, and pure joy? Those are from above! When your heart breaks and your heart skips a beat at the exact same moment...GOD is PRESENT.
The Lord has called me, and He has not called me with words. The Lord has called me to the mission field. I write this blog for two reasons: to share the loving and glorious grace of God, and so that those who read it can keep me accountable in pursuing this affliction and intervening from the Lord. He has spoken to me-through one of my greatest friends that He placed in my life, through my wonderful beautiful grandma, to my own heart, and through the wind around me. I have never experienced something so powerful. The morning I woke up after being a puddle on the floor (full of indecision and rage at God's "silence", He spoke. He spoke louder than I have ever heard someone-with no words. Instead it was through a verse written out on a text message...

Isaiah 58:6

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

AMEN.

I proceeded to receive a package from my Grandma- with two articles of the need for missionaries. I received a call from my mother about my willingness to help those who do not understand my language. I received a call from Kathryn my stepmom, telling me that something in her heart knew something was going on with me. I even received a Facebook email from a woman I had never even spoken to, with a powerful message on the word "necessity". What did I really receive? I received a piece of God's perfect wisdom. I received his Word.

What will I do with this? Well, I know I will not stray from it. I am the girl who can speak perfectly in front of large crowds! Yet may not be able to use language in a place where there is a language barrier. I am the girl with the self conscious attitude towards my body! Yet this may be useful to have broad shoulders and height when serving in dangerous places. I am the girl who cannot have children! Yet this may be God's calling for me to love, mother, and redeem His beautiful children, and be a mother to them!

God is good. Great is great. God is perfect. God is mighty. God is powerful. God is wise. And, sometimes God is Silent. Yet, he is the loudest speaker I have ever known.

Smile

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Yikes. THAT is a lot to live up to. I can begin learning to love as Jesus loved. I can create peace or give patience or show kindness. I could even show goodness and be a faithful woman and be gentle and express self control. But, how do I fake Joy if I don’t feel joyful? Why is this three letter word the second fruit mentioned behind the great "love"? How do I display joy if I cannot describe it or tangibly see it? The Lord’s plan for how we should live our lives is a perfect one. It is a life that we should all aspire to have, and aspire to live. Also, it is a life we should give. While in Honduras this past week I learned that Joy is the most contagious complex we as Christians must catch. Those that do not know the Lord, will never want to follow or serve a Lord that does not bring joy into their lives and does not encourage joy being expressed.


“A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” Proverbs 15:13



One of my best friends in the world responded to this idea in such a brilliant way. “Joy is the fruit of perfected love.” Beautiful, isn’t it? The only perfect love (the definition of perfect love) is Jesus. And, when His perfect love infiltrates our lives, we will see Joy. I have seen imperfect happiness. I have never seen imperfect, impure joy. When I have sinned, I can still feel happiness. Joy is revealed once sin is diminished. The two cannot and will not live together. I saw pure, raw joy in Honduras. Innocent children free of the world’s worries will captivate you with their laugh and presence. The most compelling way they do this is through their smile. I was born with what the doctors call a cleft lip. Not as severe as a cleft palate, the split will affect a child's smile. Being blessed with expert surgeons in the states, I now have the ability to smile. There are so many children in the world that cannot afford the surgery to repair their smile, or even the funds to seek doctor aid of any kind, as clefts can often affect chewing or swallowing. It has been on my heart recently to pray for these young children that they do not lose hope. Joy, real joy, comes from the internal willingness and desire to seek Jesus in all that we do. It is the gutteral emotion of gratitude that radiates from unique individuals. While some children and adults may never have the incredible and priceless opporuinty to physically "smile", the Holy Spirit still shines through their spirits. The Lord did not create a smile for no purpose. Why do you think he blessed each of us with this feature? It is the outward expression of the Spirit of God alive and well within us. As blessed Christians I pray we learn to smile more. A smile is the only universal language we have. I pray we stray from sin and grasp on to perfect love. It is waiting for us. And, from what I can see, a joyful life leads to a fruitful life glorying the kingdom.



“Then Hannah prayed and said: "My heart rejoices in the LORD; in
the LORD my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I
delight in your deliverance.” 1st Samuel 2:1





I now know you can see joy…and see it CLEARLY.

Awake

I lay down and slept;
I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.
—Psalm 3:4-5




Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep.
—Ecclesiastes 5:12




Five years ago I had the incredible experience of serving the Lord in Mexicali, Mexico. The spring break of my Freshman year contained a girl who was lost and immature, yet carefree. I had never been on a mission trip before, and the thought was daunting to me. I would be traveling across the border with 600 other high school students from the mega church I attended to lay in tents and attempt some Spanish. Yikes. Little did I understand the goal of a mission, or even what I was going to do. The theme of the mission was “Beautifully Awake”. Throughout the week, as a church, we began to delve deep into what it meant to be an “awake” Christian. And, what it meant to not simply live a “numb” life of sleepiness, disregarding the purpose the Lord had in our lives. The sermons reinforced the idea that we as followers must notice and eliminate distractions keeping us from fully seeking the Lord’s presence and glory in our lives. I left confused. I was awake. In fact, I was so awake I just served for seven days straight with an athletic body and a clear mind. That is what I had presumed.


On the last night of the mission, they asked us all to pray as a group to be “woken” up by the Holy Spirit. I remember getting down on my knees and praying in odd, youthful language for Jesus to jerk me awake so I could be the Christian He desired me to be. And….six months later to the exact date of that prayer, I was diagnosed with cancer. I do not believe the Lord GAVE me the disease, but it was certainly a clear and blatant message that my daily routine of lipgloss, boy-searching, Abercrombie-wearing days would be inverted. Priorities shifted, goals were reversed, and I began to look upward. I believe true “awakeness” is the releasing of wordly burdens and consistently looking upward. Taking every chance to your eternal conversation with your creator- Daily prayer. And, that is what I did. My numbness and sleepiness onset by worldly temptations and distractions desinigrated as my goals changed. My long sleep was immediately terminated by a blaring alarm that had no snooze button. But frankly, I didn’t want to press snooze anyway.


When we live an awake life, our daily routine changes. Let us look at an incredible, or perfect, example of sleepy death to vibrant life. Before analyzing Jesus last days before crucifixion and after resurrection, it is imperative we remember he was never asleep, but even Jesus saw a transformation post-resurrection . In John, the author focuses on a few common themes of Jesus final actions before the cross. Jesus Prayed for himself, prayed for His disciples, and prayed for future believers. Whether we have felt the calling of the Lord pulling us from mundane to sleep to an influential life or not, we must begin our journey with prayer. We must pray that the Holy Spirit is not grieved by our actions. We must pray for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and we must pray for those who have heard of the power of Jesus Christ. Our eternal conversation will also prompt the beginning of a longing for a life of significance. Prayer refocuses and prayer re-prioritizes. The lower we become and the higher we lift the lord up in prayer, the quicker we will see God bearing fruit in our and others’ lives. Regardless of a sleepy or awake life, we MUST take time to pray. And, if asleep, we must ask the Lord to intervene. And that can be the scariest prayer one will over mutter.


After Jesus’ resurrection we see other pieces of His ministry we can adopt and apply after we have been woken up. Jesus first appeared to Mary Magdalene in the gospel of John. Why? I pray I do not interpret this piece inaccurately, but I believe it is safe to say that Jesus had his woken state moved to proclaim the glory of God to one person in particular. Who is the man or woman in your life that you can mentor, befriend, and take under your wing? Then, who is the person the Lord is directing you to, to truly pour all of your testimony and “Jesus moments” with? I know who that is in my life, and I pray the Lord continues his work with me and this blessing in my life.


Next, Jesus revealed himself to His disciples. We as followers of the Lord, must seek our brothers and sisters and share the good news. In fact living the good news is not enough; we must proclaim it! We are no longer sleeping…we are alive. And we awake each day for one sole purpose: the Great Commission.


“How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” This amazing passage from the Bible (Romans 10:15) was the anthem of my week in Mexicali freshman Year. Our goal was to be a group of servant leaders, eager to spread the Gospel and be on the Move! To use our new found awakeness in the light and glory of Jesus to truly make a tangible impact. Real impact- God impact- can only result through people that are awake in Christ. Think of inspirational Christian Mentors that have encouraged you in your walk- can’t you notice an undeniable light beaming from them?


Last year during an incredible mission in Honduras, I know I was jolted awake. It is easy as Christians to fall into “nap time” even throughout the day! When we surround ourselves with negative influences, entertain gossip, or forget to be in God’s word, we will feel the effects. For me, I become physically exhausted as well as mentally and spiritually. Each day I spend in Honduras this next week, (I leave tomorrow! ), I pray I do not grow tired. I pray that the 100 degree weather does not toll on my spiritual vibrance and awakeness. I pray that we come awake as the body of Christ. I pray that we are so awake, resurrected from our old lives, and ready to enter onto the Great Commission path Jesus Christ has paved for us.



“Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life”
-Come Awake
David Crowder Band


“ Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. “
-1 Corinthians 15:51
A hope for what is to come.

Water of Life

Water of Life

Yesterday I had one of the experiences that seem so rare in the negative world we live in. A prayer was answered. You see, I am beginning to see that this “catastrophic” event is not actually all that rare…but instead that we are not broken enough to recognize the grace we have been given. After watching the Oprah Show finale this past Wednesday I was inspired to begin a Gratitude Journal. This will be a compilation of answered prayers, and dreams that have been fulfilled through the grace of our Lord. It made me excited. Maybe, I can begin to grasp a greater understanding of where the Lord works in the places I often ignore. And, just maybe, the places I frequently see Him work, are the exact spots he wants me to serve!
So, I began my gratitude journal. First and foremost, I am grateful for my relationship with my King. Grateful seems too worldly of a word to encompass how I “feel” about the Lord and what He is to me, but it must suffice. Second, I am grateful for my health. After two great scares with my health and the frightening “C” word was thrown around, I am beginning to see the strength a healthy body has (pun intended). Strong bodies have the capacity to walk in the fresh air along a beach trail with my Mom each morning I see her. Strong Bodies have the capacity to clean my room, cook for myself, and type this blog; utilizing the gifts that the Lord has bestowed upon me. Strong bodies have the capacity to travel abroad and serve the world under the Great Commission. My second bullet point in my gratitude journal has a permanent spot of gratitude on my heart.
Once the two obvious points were made, I came to a..writers’ block. Not because I couldn’t think of the point to come next, as my gratitude for my family, friends, church, roommates, education, finances, and more began flowing from my brain onto scratch paper. I reflected back to that Oprah Show, and what it stood for. Although the show has had controversy for being the “idol” of the middle aged housewife, I clearly see its relevance and need in our nation. It empowers men and women to see behind the appearance, and behind any façade that those around us use to guard their insecurities and vulnerabilities. It challenges the viewer to take down their own brick walls in front of them. It reveals how to delve deep into the souls of those in our inner circle. As Oprah stated so beautifully, we all have “a single platform”. That is what we stand for, what we are grateful for, and how we want to change the world. As I began pondering my third point of gratefulness, I reflected on a common scene that Oprah encourages. Crying. Yes, Crying.
When husbands come home to their weary wives sobbing at the interviews on the daily television show, I assume they find it silly and ridiculous. When my mom recorded the final weeks’ shows of Oprah I sat down to give them a chance. And where did I find myself? Crying! Not even a controllable sniffle, but a complete sob! I never believed that a show of people I never knew could move me like this.
A woman dying of cancer took the role of filming videos for her six year old daughter of the life skills needed for a young lady. She knew she would not have the time to grow up and teach her daughter personally, so this incredibly strong woman took the opportunity to film her everyday life lessons for her own angel. Isn’t it true that when we witness undeniable strength in a fellow human being, we become the “weak” one? By weak, I mean the world’s definition of weakness: crying, frustration or depression. In my short 19 years of life, I have developed a respect and admiration for the strong people..AND what the world calls “weak” ones.
Tears are a beautiful thing. The water that flows from our eyes does not only grow us internally, but it prompts growth in the seeds that are around us. As tears hit the dry and closed souls of the people in our inner circle, these hearts are refreshed and see empathy. For the longest time I never knew how to cry. The callousness that our world encourages often keeps men and women from expressing guttural emotions it seems. The strongest people I know seem to be the heaviest criers; don’t you think? They are broken. They are real. They GET it. Oprah was right when she says that all facades of our world must be taken down to truly understand people.
After taking my Jesus and the Gospels Class this past spring, one theme stood out to me. Jesus’ time on Earth was greatly about His need to correct, guide, and teach. In John 11 verse 35, the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.” That is all of it, completely. Jesus, wept. The Messiah wept in the company of grievers at Lazarus’ tomb. He understood their pain. He revealed empathy!

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)

Let us practice, crying. Not the act of purposely weakening our souls. But instead, let us practice the art of empathy. Let us grieve in the company of grievers. When our fellow man grieves, so does our Father in Heaven. Let us practice what He taught us.
I am grateful for the gift of tears. They show brokenness. They show authenticity. They show dry souls where WE find our Living Water.
So, I continue on my gratitude journal. Having only written three points of gratefulness thus far, I feel like I have summarized to the best of my ability, the day to day strength I find in Jesus. His grace is ever flowing, and everlasting.

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)

The Reverse Mission

I am currently sorting through all of my papers from my recent Honduras trip: vaccination records, safety guidelines, devotional outlines, and even some notes written by the ninos. I reflect back to my first day on the mission, making my way through customs and zipping through the crowded roads of Tegucigalpa. My prayer for the week went a little something like this.."Lord let Your will be done as I set foot in this beautiful country, and let me make way for Jesus!" The ironic part is, the Holy Spirit heard and responded to this prayer in vivid ways, yet answered others I would have never imagined.
Before the trip, my immediate family and all relatives told me I would have a "perspective change" on living in America and being raised in an affluent area. The trip became less of a perspective change, as it was a heart change. I had been blessed to travel to various locations throughout my youth, and I knew how different cultures appeared, and how impoverished nations felt. And, I presumed Honduras would fit into that category. Moreover, I was under the impression we were traveling to a place where the people had nothing. It was our job to bring them something. Possibly something tangible like Gideon Bibles or clothes for the children, maybe aid or health advice. Instead, I found that the people of Honduras had the something that I was searching for! The Holy Spirit's presence within the hearts of the young children was almost visible. Their radiant smiles were that of joy and hope in a literally crumbling topography. I am fully aware of the "pathos" and heart wrenching events that can and will occur when following the Lord's will to do a mission; the poverty alone will move one to tears. Yet, there was something even greater in Quisgualagua, Honduras. Our group made way for Jesus, our King, to touch the hearts of the young Hondurans before we even opened our mouths. I pray that for all future missions that I participate in, and any that our group pursues in the future, that we stand with "unveiled faces" under the glory of our God. The radical part is, that the glory we can express to all that we meet is an eternal glory, because of God's abiding presence through the Holy Spirit. He will aid us in ministry and encourage our manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit. That is when the transformation occurs.
The children that had nothing, taught me something. Christlikeness is the goal of the Christian walk. If we stand under the Glory of all that the Lord is, and move under Christ's example for serving our brothers and sisters we will be transformed. I can now laugh at a remark by a fellow mission group member, Lisa, who stated that the majority of mission work can be seen as a selfish endeavor: striving to find out more about God's character through small laborous tasks. It is so true! Missionary work results in something magnificent for the believer. It catapults us into a mindset of willingness: a desire to transform. A hunger to become a little more like Christ, our Savior.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

Hearts of Clay

So, I have a question....and nobody seems to have the answer to it! What has happened to Senior Year? I feel like yesterday I peered across the Granite Bay High School field and saw our Senior Sunrise, a classic tradition at the beginning of each year. Tomorrow night will be our Senior Sunset; a conclusion of the year for us to "release our regrets". Every year I had heard this facet of the tradition and laughed. Who has regrets?! It is highschool-a time of fun, right?Let me tell you this. The balloon I tie my regrets to may be weighed down by the long scrolling piece of paper!
Please do not mistake me as a person with a negative outlook. My senior year has been beyond blessed in each and every way. The Lord has provided in ways I cannot describe. For one, my college search has come to a screeching halt. High Point University it is. And, wow! Am I excited or what! I continued to pray for one thing from the Lord. If He would be so gracious to provide it, please let Your decision for where You want me to attend school unbelieveably clear. And looking back at the six month long process, I stand in peace knowing his hand was on everything. Lord, thank you for your clarity when we need it. You will never fail us when it is crunch time.
So what are these regrets? If any underclassman are reading this, please take my advice. I started highschool with the misconceived notion that the Lord will intervene in our lives whenever He so chooses, and will often to redirect us. The Lord always does know what is best for his children and will teach us in the ways that we should go. Often times though, a huge aspect of the learning process is the Lord patiently waiting for us to ask Him to enter our lives. It is in the moments when we cannot even place words to our emptiness that we must turn to Jesus. If He is the one thing that brings such hope in our world, where else would we turn.
Our hearts are but clay for his molding. if we never ask him to shape it and mold it to his forms of righteousness, we are simply young kindergarten students; ignorantly believing that we can learn all skills on our own. It is once our teacher comes to the forefront to give us direction, when we truly learn, isn't it? We must not assume that we have it on our own, or that self-progression is a natural process. Trials are inevitable. The Lord's availability and access is constant. But often once that trials hit, our first incling is not to look to our teacher. We cling to our own understanding, and lean not on His.
The joy of the Lord is our strength always and everyday. Think about the depth of these words. The joy we attain from simply knowing the perfect loving King is enough to bring us strength. And the joy that the Lord has for his children and their wellbeing lets us live each day in confidence. We are protected He is our refuge. Let us pursue our teacher. Let Him mold us.
I desire to look into the sky tomorrow night and instead of seeing yellow balloons floating aimlessly in the sky with laundry lists or sorrows and failures, I want to see Jesus' face shining. There will be no way to soar higher without a purpose. One that actually rejoices in the times that we give our regrets to Him. Now he has the chance to pour His love on us. And, show us His way.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your teacher.

Isaiah 30:20

Be Ready.

2 Timothy 4:2

" Preach the Word: be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

And the seasons change once again. I have not written a blog since the very beginning of my Senior Year...and I am approcahing the end of my first semester. What has the Lord shown me in the past few months? First, that He is so good: every aspect of his being is righteous. Second, that He wants us all to proclaim His greatness to the ends of the Earth. What does that look like for us? Let us begin to determine His mission field for us.

A quick update on what the Lord is doing in a local mission field. If any of you have seen G4C on my License Plate frame, you may have been wondering what this was. Over the summer the Lord put in on my heart to stop searching frantically for a place to serve. God wanted me to be at peace, have a heart ready to proclaim His name and lead people to the Lord from what I have seen of Him. I knew I had to start an outreach to girls my age struggling with the common pressures and temptations of this world: family dilemmas, friend conflicts, college and future worries, and overall anxieties. What can put a soul to rest? The Word. Each Wednesday morning it has been such a blessing to not only walk through the Word with these girls, but to also have constant fellowship inside and outside of our current meeting spot at Peet's Coffee. The Lord moves in that place too; we recieve looks of confusion from fellow students not clear on what we are reading, or why we would ever spend a collaboration morning in a book of all things. But regardless of the world, the group has been growing! What matters though, is that we are equipping ourselves through our fellowship, and through Him, to be His disciples. Let the Lord be praised!

How do we become disciples of integrity and holiness in a mission field that often is a battlefield? I have had the opportunity to spend time in the book of John, and it outlines what a life like this must be. In John 15, it shows the Lord as our vine, and we are His branches.

"Every Branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

Once we know Him; the Way, Truth and Life, we will begin to have the motivation and qualifications needed to prune fruit for the Lord. We cannot begin to grow our own form of ministry or evangelism without the vine as our support and source of nutrients. Our Father, the source of all of our joy and evangelistic motivation is glorified through us bearing fruit and proving to be His disciples. It is overwhelming to see people around me being equipped to lead and serve the Lord through the sheer knowledge of His holy nature. Let us attach ourselves even closer to the vine, and grasp ahold of the protection and wisdom it gives. You cannot help but desire to grow His kingdom after learning about our Lord and Savior. That is what this year has taught me.

This weather is keeping em indoors it seems. I don't have the desire to be outside as often interacting with people, and enjoying their company. But it is exactly that the Lord wants us to do! Get outside of our comfort zones of stillness and isolation, and begin to be immersed with His people. When we serve Him with our all, we become closer to the vine, and have the desire planted in our hearts through that vine to bear fruit. In and out of Season be ready for Him. Be ready for His people. Be ready to bear fruit.

The Power of Presence.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.  It is countdown time. My AP Literature required reading is sitting in the dusty corner of my room, and my new class schedule is sitting on my bare desk. My senior year starts next week, and I am a little nervous. I know the Lord has so much for me to accomplish for His kingdom, yet there is still so much I desire and need to learn. Each year, I pray about one thing in particular to shape my approaching school year. Last year, the all consuming prayer request was for the blessing of great friends to learn about the Lord from, and to share with. I was immensely provided. This year, I desire for the Lord to challenge me in a way that will stretch my innermost character. Let my darkest sides be exposed and transformed. 

The Lord has blessed me with an amazing mode of transportation. My Grandmother gave me her SUV for my 16th birthday, and I was thrilled! When the Lord throws us unexpected blessings, we seem to appreciate, yet abuse them though don't we? I immediately found myself driving around town fulfilling useless tasks, just so that I could be out of the house and expressing my independence. But, as good as being a seventeen year old zipping around town may seem, I was missing out on a crucial part of my maturation and adolescence. At home, my family was having family meals, my father wanted to help me on my speech for an upcoming tournament, my grandparents wanted me to help them with their computer, or my siblings just wanted to hang out and talk. I was missing out on cherish moments with my family members that I would never get back. The Lord desires us to spend time with His people. We must make a daily effort to be in each others presence, especially in times of emotional need. 

We can look to Job, a prophet who seemed to have it all: wealth, a family, and feasts galore. Suddenly, disaster and tragedy completely wiped out Job's family and possessions. When this occurred, we see one of the Lord's many lessons become very clear. As long as Job's friends kept their mouths shut, they were comforting to their grieving friend. Once they began conjecturing about what could have caused Job's tragedy, or why he was feeling a certain way, they got into trouble. 

 “Be happy with those who are happy, weep with those who weep”  Romans 12:15

It seems that the Lord is sending us a very clear message about how he wants us to act around friends going through tough instances in their lives. Sometimes all that people need is your presence, your sense of hope, and your presentation of the Gospel. If all we do is bring His good news, that is more than enough. The Lord wants YOU to be the one standing by a person in need. When we abide in the Lord and put His truth in our hearts, we must share that with anyone with a non-settled heart. This sounds pretty basic: it is fundamental to our Christian walk. But the thing that is radical about the whole process, is that our presence is just a small display of our Heavenly Father's unconditional presence. 

 

“Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19 

The essence of empathy is the gift of presence. Let us begin to seek out anyone with a troubled heart. Let them know that we are present. Let them know that HE is eternally present. 

Two Families.

I placed both feet on the escalator, and began to descend. Goodness, I was beyond tired. The time change plus a seven hour total plane trip resulted in a girl in a drowsy and exhausted state. I peered up and saw four familiar faces looking back up at me. They were smiling. They were excited.
This is my family, and they had traveled to pick me up from the airport. Two weeks seemed like a long time away from them, and I was ready to finally sleep in my own bed. Families are a blessing, aren't they? The amazing part our families is that they truly are given to us. Unlike friends, we do not need to go out of our comfort zone to meet them, or maintain a strict relationship with boundaries. Families have been with us from the time of birth and we grow and mature in the midst and love of them. They are a gift to us that we don't deserve, but we do need.
What is the Lord's intention for a family? I was so blessed to lead an adult Bible Study class while in Ruston Louisiana, and I know the Holy Spirit revealed its answer to me. My grandma handed me a pamphlet of devotionals and commentaries on Exodus 7, and the Bible. The verses in Exodus 7 refer to the rise of Moses and his strength to speak to the Pharaoh, and to ask for Israel's freedom from Egypt. As I read the Word, I continued to remember that Moses, the prophet and wise man, had a serious obstacle when serving the Lord. His voice, a powerful gift the Lord had blessed Moses seemed to be hindered, and could not be used to its fullest extent. The question arises, "Why would the Lord put the burden of a speech impediment on Moses, His chosen one?" He does not make any mistakes, does He? We realize that this was the Lord's plan all along, when we read on in the Word. Moses' brother, Aaron was also blessed with a gift. His gift was a voice. His powerful words were spoken to the Pharaoh in the presence of his brother. Moses heard and responded to the Lord, and Aaron spoke. These brothers were willing and capable of serving the Lord in different ways. God blessed each one differently, amazingly. The power of our Heavenly Father was heard through the gifts the Lord placed in earthly men.
Yes, Moses was well...a crucial and imperative point of glory for the Lord and all of His kingdom. I am beginning to think though that not only are we called to be men and women whose all-out desire is to serve Him, but we are also supposed to regard our families as members of an immediate body of which we can serve Him with. God has intricately placed each and every member of your family alongside you for a reason. Appreciation and gratitude should flow from our hearts when we comprehend this.
Why then, do families break apart and stray away from their original, perfect structure? How can sin begin to enter the picture and disrupt God's divine harmony and original intention? The only thing to keep a family in line with God's original intention, is to begin to mold themselves into the family that God originally creates. Simple, right? Sadly, sin always seems inevitable when we are so surrounded by the flesh every day. The only way to begin to move from the flesh, is to become closer to Christ, and His living word.
Divorce hit home for me when I was in the fifth grade. As an only child, I could not comprehend what it was or why it was happening to my family. Over six years later I can begin to see the multitude of blessings that have overflown out of something outside God's line. My five siblings are some of the most diverse and incredible people I could have been blessed with. The Lord knew that I needed family members to walk along the rough patches and times of hope. My siblings and step-parents are some of the most diverse and influential people in my life, and I love them so much. The Lord has blessed my families so much. It seems that what I lack, they posess, and vice versa. Our families are just small groupings of the Lord's family and and Kingsdom. Let us be just as joyful and grateful to be a part of our immediate, earthly family members, as we are to be a part of God's eternal kingdom.

Exodus 7:10

So Moses and Aaron went in to Pharaoh, and they did so, just as the LORD commanded. And Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh and before his servants, and it became a serpent.

Let us be a part of our families just as the Lord has commanded. Let us live lives of gratitude and grace.