The Call

Sometimes, there really are no words. In fact, for the first time in my life, WORDS haven't been used to persuade me...or to call me. My entire life has been revolved around words: from Speech and Debate tournaments, to listening to my dad, as he is a motivational speaker. I know words. I can speak words. And, I can understand words...right?

The Lord speaks to us in a different way. As believers in Christ we will often hear, "Preach the Gospel, and if necessary use words." Some find this comical and quite true. But, I have begun to see that talking the talk is just as crucial as walking the walk. Jesus doesn't have to talk the talk or walk the walk. Instead, he is the captivating force that leads his Children to his glory. He is the Holy Spirit-who does not need words or action. Instead, all we may have is a tug on a heartstring-yet it is so clear, there is no denying it.

We can deny words or actions and attribute them to something else. When a heart is broken and mended with a new passion, it is an action of the Holy Spirit. THIS is not reversible. And the human does not want to do anything else besides follow this command. Some choose not to as earthly existence can create immediate distraction: within seconds! Yet to truly find the dwelling glory of our God, one must pursue the broken-ness. It is more than emotion: it is affliction.

I have been broken, and I have been afflicted-in the best of ways. And you know the crazy part? Some people already do not believe me. But, if the Lord has actually called me for His will, many will not believe it, huh? Why? The Lord's callings are radical. They are sacrificial. They are NOT of this earth. Earthly callings are earthly callings. Emotions are emotions. Broken-ness, sacrifice, wisdom, and pure joy? Those are from above! When your heart breaks and your heart skips a beat at the exact same moment...GOD is PRESENT.
The Lord has called me, and He has not called me with words. The Lord has called me to the mission field. I write this blog for two reasons: to share the loving and glorious grace of God, and so that those who read it can keep me accountable in pursuing this affliction and intervening from the Lord. He has spoken to me-through one of my greatest friends that He placed in my life, through my wonderful beautiful grandma, to my own heart, and through the wind around me. I have never experienced something so powerful. The morning I woke up after being a puddle on the floor (full of indecision and rage at God's "silence", He spoke. He spoke louder than I have ever heard someone-with no words. Instead it was through a verse written out on a text message...

Isaiah 58:6

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

AMEN.

I proceeded to receive a package from my Grandma- with two articles of the need for missionaries. I received a call from my mother about my willingness to help those who do not understand my language. I received a call from Kathryn my stepmom, telling me that something in her heart knew something was going on with me. I even received a Facebook email from a woman I had never even spoken to, with a powerful message on the word "necessity". What did I really receive? I received a piece of God's perfect wisdom. I received his Word.

What will I do with this? Well, I know I will not stray from it. I am the girl who can speak perfectly in front of large crowds! Yet may not be able to use language in a place where there is a language barrier. I am the girl with the self conscious attitude towards my body! Yet this may be useful to have broad shoulders and height when serving in dangerous places. I am the girl who cannot have children! Yet this may be God's calling for me to love, mother, and redeem His beautiful children, and be a mother to them!

God is good. Great is great. God is perfect. God is mighty. God is powerful. God is wise. And, sometimes God is Silent. Yet, he is the loudest speaker I have ever known.