Horizon

This past year I was blessed with the most wonderful monetary gift I could have ever been blessed with. It makes me at peace. It calms me down. It gives me a little sense of freedom from the busy life of a type-A personality college student. Any guesses?? Anyone?? Well, my wonderful Toyota Rav-4 has been quite the luxury for my sophomore year of school at High Point University. Whenever I desire to see the world, and get off of campus for a little while, I am so blessed to be able to just hop in my car and…drive. And, you see I drive a lot. I already have 5,000 miles on my car in a short 3 months. And, I have class over half of the day each day. I have a solution for why this is the case-I am quite an introvert. You see, many do not realize that I am about as introverted as they come: sometimes people just wear me out. And all I desire is some alone time with my God. Whenever we are still, and away from all of the distractions the world presents us, we can begin to hear the voice of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. As I talked about in the last blog, this voice is not audible (for me anyway) but it most certainly becomes louder and has lasting impact when we have enough quiet time to digest the calling from the Lord. There is one common denominator when I drive: I always seem to drive on the ever-so-exciting Eastchester Drive. Eastchester has two parts: Eastchester and Westchester, which connect two cities in the state of North Carolina. So, it is fitting that you will see me driving on this road quite often. When I drive, blasting Hillsong United at the loudest volume my car can muster, I always love looking up into the sky. The horizon is a place we very often forget to look, as we are so focused on the present-the dotted and dashed yellow lines separating us from other cars. We become entranced with the present: almost obsessed with it. Often in driver’s education they call this a sort of drunkenness or hypnotism. We become so spellbound with what is familiar we forget to look ahead! Isn’t this true in our own lives? We grow tired. We grow lazy. We grow complacent. And we most certainly grow sedentary. We forget the simple act of lifting our chins upward to witness the sun rising behind the hills, the snow on top of the mountains, or even the road work ahead of us. Our own lives are the fulfillment and compilation of what we do in these small, everyday actions. We are so fed up searching for the correct curtains to block the sun, that we so often forget to look at Christ’s majesty, and His creation. We focus more on burning the toast than the thought of there the wheat even came from in the first place. We are so obsessed on the daily duties, that the screaming “collision” or “road work” just yards ahead of us goes unnoticed. Many times there will be a large turning point in the road right ahead of us..but we cannot take our eyes off the yellow lines warning us of this bend soon ahead. Why is this? Simply, because it is EASY!



When driving on Eastchester, there is another thing I always notice. The birds! And, for many of you who read my blog, you are California natives and this word picture may not be as familiar. When I say birds…I mean BIRDS…EVERYWHERE. Eastchester seems to house the largest amount of small black birds on God’s great earth. They all love to perch up on the telephone wire right above the cars. And, they all sit so close together with no space in between them, creating a beautiful silhouette against the setting sun ahead of me. I love watching these birds. Nature is God’s depiction of who we are-right in front of us. Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves in others-but when it comes to nature, it seems to be a little easier to relate. I am fascinated by what these birds do. When it becomes too comfortable for the birds, one will take its wing, and push the bird sitting right beside of it off of the wire. It is not a kind little nudge, either. A full on force is required to get these persistent buggers off of their wire and fluttering into the abyss. Isn’t God kind of like this? We all love to flock together like birds of a feather. We often forget though that the comfort of our world, or the wire, is not to be taken for granted. We will always of times of challenges where we will have to find a new home. A new source of strength. And, this is when we search for God. As the birds leave the wire, they will often soar upwards towards the skyline, past where the human eye can see them. When we are nudged off of what makes us comfortable, we are forced to find a new wire, a new platform. And, often this is not what is “cool” or what is practical. We may not be warm sitting side by side with our friends. We may be in a foreign land, we may be living off of little, we may be losing a family member, we may be going through a sickness that world cannot heal. Where do we turn when we are knocked off center? Let us begin to turn to God’s Grace. To God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. God’s riches are never ending. God’s riches are not ceasing. And God’s riches will never fail you. They may “shock” you a little bit (as I have often witnessed with the bird’s on the telephone wire), but it is for the good of your whole person. The Lord is training you to be a disciple. To be an apostle. To be a missionary of the Word for the World. Let us find ourselves relying on His grace instead of a wire of the world. It is steadier, and more consistent. We may get shocked, but we will always know where to fly back to. We may be alone here on Earth, but we will always know we have a safe platform in the Lord.

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:18

The Call

Sometimes, there really are no words. In fact, for the first time in my life, WORDS haven't been used to persuade me...or to call me. My entire life has been revolved around words: from Speech and Debate tournaments, to listening to my dad, as he is a motivational speaker. I know words. I can speak words. And, I can understand words...right?

The Lord speaks to us in a different way. As believers in Christ we will often hear, "Preach the Gospel, and if necessary use words." Some find this comical and quite true. But, I have begun to see that talking the talk is just as crucial as walking the walk. Jesus doesn't have to talk the talk or walk the walk. Instead, he is the captivating force that leads his Children to his glory. He is the Holy Spirit-who does not need words or action. Instead, all we may have is a tug on a heartstring-yet it is so clear, there is no denying it.

We can deny words or actions and attribute them to something else. When a heart is broken and mended with a new passion, it is an action of the Holy Spirit. THIS is not reversible. And the human does not want to do anything else besides follow this command. Some choose not to as earthly existence can create immediate distraction: within seconds! Yet to truly find the dwelling glory of our God, one must pursue the broken-ness. It is more than emotion: it is affliction.

I have been broken, and I have been afflicted-in the best of ways. And you know the crazy part? Some people already do not believe me. But, if the Lord has actually called me for His will, many will not believe it, huh? Why? The Lord's callings are radical. They are sacrificial. They are NOT of this earth. Earthly callings are earthly callings. Emotions are emotions. Broken-ness, sacrifice, wisdom, and pure joy? Those are from above! When your heart breaks and your heart skips a beat at the exact same moment...GOD is PRESENT.
The Lord has called me, and He has not called me with words. The Lord has called me to the mission field. I write this blog for two reasons: to share the loving and glorious grace of God, and so that those who read it can keep me accountable in pursuing this affliction and intervening from the Lord. He has spoken to me-through one of my greatest friends that He placed in my life, through my wonderful beautiful grandma, to my own heart, and through the wind around me. I have never experienced something so powerful. The morning I woke up after being a puddle on the floor (full of indecision and rage at God's "silence", He spoke. He spoke louder than I have ever heard someone-with no words. Instead it was through a verse written out on a text message...

Isaiah 58:6

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

AMEN.

I proceeded to receive a package from my Grandma- with two articles of the need for missionaries. I received a call from my mother about my willingness to help those who do not understand my language. I received a call from Kathryn my stepmom, telling me that something in her heart knew something was going on with me. I even received a Facebook email from a woman I had never even spoken to, with a powerful message on the word "necessity". What did I really receive? I received a piece of God's perfect wisdom. I received his Word.

What will I do with this? Well, I know I will not stray from it. I am the girl who can speak perfectly in front of large crowds! Yet may not be able to use language in a place where there is a language barrier. I am the girl with the self conscious attitude towards my body! Yet this may be useful to have broad shoulders and height when serving in dangerous places. I am the girl who cannot have children! Yet this may be God's calling for me to love, mother, and redeem His beautiful children, and be a mother to them!

God is good. Great is great. God is perfect. God is mighty. God is powerful. God is wise. And, sometimes God is Silent. Yet, he is the loudest speaker I have ever known.